Cross-posted from Mike Malloy
For example, did you hear the one about the Congressional candidate who thinks global warming is a hoax? I know, you're probably asking "which one?" but this candidate actually published a video about her wacky anti-science views and also claims that global climate change is the "greatest deception of all mankind." Wow. Even more deceitful than those Sketchers sneakers that were supposed to give you a fabulous backside? Bigger than Balloon Boy? A greater hoax than Milli Vanilli? The talking snake theory of creation? Trickle Down economics? Greatest deception ever, this must be good.
Lenar Whitney is a congressional contender from Louisiana, and she blames Al Gore and his pointy-headed inconvenient truth nonsense for the mass hysteria about planetary climate change.
MSNBC has more:
"'A specter is haunting America. It is perhaps the greatest deception in the history of mankind,' Whitney said in the video. She is running for Congress in Louisiana's 6th Congressional District. 'The conspiracy of global warming has had a devastating effect on the American dream,' she added.
"Whitney previously called global warming a 'hoax' when she announced her candidacy for Congress. Instead of trying to solve problems related to the climate, she says, the country must put resources into settling the country's $18 trillion in national debt, a problem she calls the 'actual apocalyptic event' of modern times.
"Whitney mocked Gore's Inconvenient Truth documentary, which was released almost 10 years ago, saying the Earth 'has done nothing but get colder each year since the film's release.' The movie showcased Gore's campaign to educate citizens about global warming."
The nation has been punk'd by scientists; well isn't that awful? All these meteorologists and climatologists and geologists and biologists have banded together to form a secret group whose sole purpose it to conspire against the citizenry in order to ... do what, exactly? What is the hoped-for outcome of their evil scheme? Sounds like the plot of a kid's comic book. Where's the Justice League when you need them to take down Al Gore and the mad scientists who are trying to destroy the American Dream!?
Ms. Whitney is correct in her assessment of the $18 trillion national debt, that is a nightmare. Remember the Clinton surplus? The Bush Crime Family would have none of that! Not when there were terror wars to fund ... but I digress.
Not to be upstaged, GOP wannabe Joni Ernst of Iowa touts a campaign commercial depicting a pig castration as proof that she's adept at cutting pork. Much like Sarah Palin was adept at decapitating turkeys. We're wondering how many male voters in Iowa cringed and crossed their legs when that appeared during their 6 PM newscasts. Ms. Ernst also has similar plans for the EPA and the Department of Education. Both on her butcher block.
As Politifact explains:
"'I do believe that we can make the cuts necessary within our federal government,' Ernst said. She called for 'closing the doors to the Department of Education at the federal level. And not just because it would save taxpayer dollars, but because I do believe our children are better educated when it's coming from the state.' While answering the same question that prompted her Education Department response, Ernst also mentioned the EPA. 'Let's shut down the EPA,' she said. Ernst gave the same rationale for this slash in government, saying, 'The state knows best how to protect resources.'"
Yeah, the Department of Education might turn our smart kids who grow up to be scientists and then band with Al Gore to ruin the American Dream by forcing EPA regulations to perpetrate the global climate change hoax. I sense a pattern here ...
There are plenty of male candidates who are deserving of special observation as well, like Florida's Jake Rush. He is a devoted father, conservative christian, former police officer, capable lawyer, and possible vampire. Yes, he might just be one of the undead, which would get him Dick Cheney's endorsement, if nothing else.
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