Power of Story Send a Tweet        

Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend 13 (13 Shares)  

Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   No comments
OpEdNews Op Eds

President Palin's First Ten Days in Office

By       Message John Blumenthal       (Page 1 of 5 pages)     Permalink

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; (more...) ; ; ; , Add Tags  (less...)  Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com Headlined to H4 3/31/11

Author 42212
- Advertisement -

Day One : Chief Justice Roberts administers the oath of office. President Palin repeats the words "So help me God," fifty-five times and won't let go of the Bible. The benediction lasts six hours.


In her inaugural speech, she proclaims that, "Democratic countries of the world must stand together to defeat Communism and win the Cold War."


- Advertisement -

Tweet: Prety sur Justc. Rbts. commando undr robe @ inaug. Ooooh . 


- Advertisement -


Day Two : President Palin orders the Bureau of Printing and Engraving to remove Ulysses S. Grant's face from the fifty dollar bill and replace it with the image of Ronald Reagan because Grant "has a foreign-sounding first name and who was he anyway?" She considers changing the $10 bill and the $100 bill, but Vice-President Michele Bachmann advises her to refrain because Benjamin Franklin and Alexander Hamilton were "two of our greatest presidents."


Tweet: Said "gee Todd'" today & scret srvice thot I said "jihad." Oops! 


- Advertisement -


Day Three : Palin orders her new Secretary of God to place a thirty foot statue of Jesus holding a shotgun on the front lawn of the White House. Work begins on construction of a shooting range in the Rose Garden, and the West Wing is eliminated, because it's on the left side of the building. 


Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5


- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It


John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon Share Author on Social Media   Go To Commenting

The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Stark Naked at the Airport

Will Prince Charles Ever Be King?

My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger

I'm in Love with Michele Bachmann

Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas

Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary