Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 11 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 3/31/11

President Palin's First Ten Days in Office

By       (Page 1 of 5 pages)   No comments

Day One : Chief Justice Roberts administers the oath of office. President Palin repeats the words "So help me God," fifty-five times and won't let go of the Bible. The benediction lasts six hours.


In her inaugural speech, she proclaims that, "Democratic countries of the world must stand together to defeat Communism and win the Cold War."


Tweet: Prety sur Justc. Rbts. commando undr robe @ inaug. Ooooh . 




Day Two : President Palin orders the Bureau of Printing and Engraving to remove Ulysses S. Grant's face from the fifty dollar bill and replace it with the image of Ronald Reagan because Grant "has a foreign-sounding first name and who was he anyway?" She considers changing the $10 bill and the $100 bill, but Vice-President Michele Bachmann advises her to refrain because Benjamin Franklin and Alexander Hamilton were "two of our greatest presidents."


Tweet: Said "gee Todd'" today & scret srvice thot I said "jihad." Oops! 




Day Three : Palin orders her new Secretary of God to place a thirty foot statue of Jesus holding a shotgun on the front lawn of the White House. Work begins on construction of a shooting range in the Rose Garden, and the West Wing is eliminated, because it's on the left side of the building. 


Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Rate It | View Ratings

John Blumenthal Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major (more...)
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Stark Naked at the Airport

Will Prince Charles Ever Be King?

My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger

I'm in Love with Michele Bachmann

Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas

Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend