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John Blumenthal

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John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major flop), and "Blue Streak" (huge hit, no idea why.) His last two novels, both published by St. Martin's Press, were "What's Wrong With Dorfman?" and "Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour," (only available online now). They were both huge bestsellers among the members of his immediate family.

OpEdNews Member for 631 week(s) and 6 day(s)

39 Articles, 0 Quick Links, 6 Comments, 0 Diaries, 0 Polls

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From Images
(6 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, November 29, 2010
Stark Naked at the Airport What if everybody did a striptease at airport security.
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, January 25, 2010
Will Prince Charles Ever Be King? Now that Princess Di is gone, most Brits aren't all that fond of Prince Charles. Can he over come his subjects' disdain and his mother's longevity, and become king of England?
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Friday, January 29, 2010
My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger I'm the only person who has interviewed the elusive JD Salinger. Years ago, I also interviewed Howard Hughes.
(11 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Friday, December 3, 2010
I'm in Love with Michele Bachmann Republican women are hot!
(2 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Friday, December 18, 2009
Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas Given the state of the world in 1843, Scrooge had the right attitude about charity and good cheer.
SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, January 30, 2010
Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary Camping is a form of masochism in which people leave the comfort of their homes to live like Neanderthal Man.
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, January 9, 2010
How Groucho Marx Got Me an Editorial Job at Playboy Groucho Marx unwittingly gave my career a boost, helping to land me jobs as an editor at Esquire, then as an editor of Playboy. Here are some of my adventures at both magazines.
(4 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, December 21, 2009
I'm Starting a Left Wing Militia. Wanna Join? Lefties unite! Surely a Left Wing militia can outsmart the wingnuts. After all, we're better at Photoshop.
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, January 4, 2010
What the Hell Does "Sanctity of Marriage" Mean? How can straight couples who violate their marriage vows call gay marriage an issue that destroys the sanctity of marriage?
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, March 19, 2011
The Tea Party Congress's 20 Best Job Creation Bills The Tea Party Congress and Job Creation
SHARE More Sharing        Sunday, November 14, 2010
The First Draft of George W. Bush's Memoir What Bush's memoir looked like before it was ghostwritten and edited.
(31 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Should the North Celebrate the Defeat of the Confederacy? Should the defeat of the South be a holiday in the North?
(2 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A Colonoscopy at Every Airport? Has airline safety gotten so ridiculous that passengers' orifices will now be searched?
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Psychiatrists Identify New Phobias With the increased anxieties of modern life, strange new phobias have begun to appear. Scientists are doing their best to keep up with this new trend.
SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, March 31, 2011
President Palin's First Ten Days in Office If Sarah Palin were elected president, here's what her firswt ten days would be like
(6 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Upstaged by a Chimp: The Bogus Myth of Ronald Reagan Poking holes in the Republicans' misguided idolatry of Ronald Reagan.
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, December 26, 2009
Why "Julie & Julia" Stinks Why do people like this film? It has no story and the characters are grating.
(9 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Sunday, December 5, 2010
Obama Needs to Fire Axelrod and Gibbs Obama needs to emulate Clinton and shake up his advisory staff.
(8 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Sunday, December 13, 2009
I'm Joseph Stalin and I'm Feeling Neglected Joseph Stalin complains about Hitler's popularity
SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Should the Senate be Abolished? Why should one Senator be able to hold up legislation that could impact the whole nation?
(5 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, January 25, 2010
What Obama Needs to Do to Be a Star Again: A Modest Proposal With one outrageous act, President Obama can restore his presideency.
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Friday, December 11, 2009
Top 20 Political Questions The Top 20 Political Questions I'd Like to Ask
(4 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, January 7, 2010
How To Make the Taliban Surrender A few simple and inexpensive ways to beat the Taliban without shedding any blood.
(6 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Tuesday, January 12, 2010
What Happened to Speling, Grammer and Geografie? School systems today are deficient in teaching kids the basics. Geography, grammar and spelling have been left behind. Sure match and science are important, but do we want a generation of kids that thinks Nebraska is in Europe?
(2 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The 5 Dumbest Scripts I Ever Sold to Hollywood Synopses of the 5 most moronic movie scripts I sold to Hollywood while I worked a screenwriter.
(6 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, January 16, 2010
Will Ted Kennedy Be Spinning in his Grave on Tuesday? Will Ted Kennedy's lifelong cause be done in by the man who is running for his Senate seat?
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, May 23, 2011
Breaking News: GOP Will Run Nobody for President in 2012 Deciding that none of the declared candidates can beat Obama, the RNC decides that a blank space on the ballot will have a chance of winning.
(2 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, December 29, 2011
I'm Mitt Romney's Hair Stylist Political advice for Mitt Romney from the guy who does his hair.
(2 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, February 6, 2010
Guess What? We Already Have Death Panels Even if there were government death panels -- and there won't be -- how does that differ from death panels already in affect at insurance companies?
(4 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Monday, December 28, 2009
Is Customer Service a Corporate Conspiracy? May I please speak to a HUMAN?!!! How we all suffer from the customer service runaround and why.
SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, January 6, 2010
How I Almost Started World War III (True Story) Put together 3 guys with too much German beer, some tank flares and the East German border, and you could have big trouble
SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Where is Mitt Romney Hiding? Is Mitt Romney the Republican's only choice for 2012? Is he hiding to keep his distance from the wingnuts?
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, December 17, 2009
Why I Hate My Health Club One reason: To make the weights work, you're supposed to lift them.
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, January 14, 2010
New Show: CSI: Congress Health Care Reform is a badly injured man and members of Congress are the detectives. Most of them -- like Detective Joe Lieberman --want to kill the poor guy, but Detective Nancy Pelosi tried to stop them
(3 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Saturday, January 23, 2010
Can We Please Stop Saying "Enjoy Your Day"? Does anybody really care if you enjoy your day? And how much enjoyment are we supposed to have? Can't we just say "Good-bye" anymore?
SHARE More Sharing        Monday, February 1, 2010
How To Pass Healthcare Reform by Tomorrow A few stringent and unpleasant measures we could take to persuade Congress to pass Healthcare Reform without further delay.
SHARE More Sharing        Thursday, February 18, 2010
How to Make the Winter Olympics More Interesting By jazzing up a few events -- like Curling -- maybe more people will be interested in watching the games.
(1 comments) SHARE More Sharing        Friday, February 5, 2010
How My First Movie Got Made It took luck, good timing and some shameless groveling on my part, but somehow the film was produced. (And flopped.)
SHARE More Sharing        Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Do You Know Who's in Your Wallet? On your currency, Jefferson gets a raw deal by being on a $2 bill, while Alexander Hamilton's face undeservedly graces $10 dollar bills. And why is Salmon P.Chase's kisser on a $10,000 bill?

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