The Average American (scratching his head): Er, um, well, how do they get those huge contracts in Saudi Arabia if they refuse to pay bribes?
The Oil Warrior: Look, you are getting off topic. WE MUST HAVE A WAR FOR OIL!!!
The Average American: What if the war gets out of control and escalates into a global thermonuclear war involving Israel, Pakistan, India, Russia, and China?
The Oil Warrior: That would never happen.
The Average American: Are you sure?
The Oil Warrior: I can show you dozens of scholarly studies from neoconservative think tanks demonstrating there is nothing to worry about! These people are a lot smarter than you and have advanced degrees from the University of Chicago, Harvard, and other prestigious universities.
The Average American: Could these neoconservatives be spoiled rich kids with no real world experience who treat global power politics as an exciting game of Dungeons and Dragons instead of a serious life and death matter?
The Oil Warrior: Nonsense!
The Average American (looking a tad suspicious): Look, I still don't understand why we can't just work hard here in the US, make more energy, and cut our energy consumption. Have you thought about trading that Humvee in for something smaller. I have a Mini Cooper (the Average American points proudly at a goofy looking Mini Cooper parked a few yards away on Main Street).
The Oil Warrior (aghast): Sissy!
The Average American: Look. I still don't understand why we need a war for oil. Is Iran or Venezuela refusing to sell us oil?
The Oil Warrior: In a diabolical plot against America, Chavez bought Citgo to sell his Commie-Muslim gasoline to innocent unsuspecting American motorists!
The Average American: I've bought Citgo gas! Seems ok to me. I don't get the problem.
The Oil Warrior: Never mind Venezuela! It's Iran.
The Average American (puzzled): Is Iran refusing to sell oil to us?
The Oil Warrior: Er, um, well, we refuse to buy oil from Iran. But we suspect that the diabolical Muslims in Iran are selling their oil to third parties who -- listen to this shocking scandal -- resell the oil to the US ... and even Israel by claiming the oil is from Saudi Arabia or other oil rich nations that don't call the US names in public.
The Oil Warrior: Look, you are getting off topic. WE MUST HAVE A WAR FOR OIL!!!
The Average American: What if the war gets out of control and escalates into a global thermonuclear war involving Israel, Pakistan, India, Russia, and China?
The Oil Warrior: That would never happen.
The Average American: Are you sure?
The Oil Warrior: I can show you dozens of scholarly studies from neoconservative think tanks demonstrating there is nothing to worry about! These people are a lot smarter than you and have advanced degrees from the University of Chicago, Harvard, and other prestigious universities.
The Average American: Could these neoconservatives be spoiled rich kids with no real world experience who treat global power politics as an exciting game of Dungeons and Dragons instead of a serious life and death matter?
The Oil Warrior: Nonsense!
The Average American (looking a tad suspicious): Look, I still don't understand why we can't just work hard here in the US, make more energy, and cut our energy consumption. Have you thought about trading that Humvee in for something smaller. I have a Mini Cooper (the Average American points proudly at a goofy looking Mini Cooper parked a few yards away on Main Street).
The Oil Warrior (aghast): Sissy!
The Average American: Look. I still don't understand why we need a war for oil. Is Iran or Venezuela refusing to sell us oil?
The Oil Warrior: In a diabolical plot against America, Chavez bought Citgo to sell his Commie-Muslim gasoline to innocent unsuspecting American motorists!
The Average American: I've bought Citgo gas! Seems ok to me. I don't get the problem.
The Oil Warrior: Never mind Venezuela! It's Iran.
The Average American (puzzled): Is Iran refusing to sell oil to us?
The Oil Warrior: Er, um, well, we refuse to buy oil from Iran. But we suspect that the diabolical Muslims in Iran are selling their oil to third parties who -- listen to this shocking scandal -- resell the oil to the US ... and even Israel by claiming the oil is from Saudi Arabia or other oil rich nations that don't call the US names in public.
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