The Average American: What about that Yukos thing? Looks like Putin put his interests above free market theory, not to mention ExxonMobil's attempt to get control of Russia's oil?
The Oil Warrior: THAT IS A RIDICULOUS CONSPIRACY THEORY! IN AMERICA, WE DO NOT DISCUSS CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!
The Average American: Well, by the same token, isn't your theory about Iran a ridiculous conspiracy theory?
The Oil Warrior (exasperated): See here. Russia has five thousand nuclear warheads. Iran has none. We only need to worry about a nuclear surprise attack from oil rich nations that don't have nuclear weapons!
The Average American (puzzled): That makes absolutely no sense.
The Oil Warrior (angry): You are missing the point! We must steal the world's oil to save our economy! IT IS THE ONLY OPTION!!!
The Oil Warrior angrily jumps back into his Humvee, backs up, turns around, and drives off over the Average American's Mini Cooper, crushing it flat.
###
The Oil Warrior: THAT IS A RIDICULOUS CONSPIRACY THEORY! IN AMERICA, WE DO NOT DISCUSS CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!
The Average American: Well, by the same token, isn't your theory about Iran a ridiculous conspiracy theory?
The Oil Warrior (exasperated): See here. Russia has five thousand nuclear warheads. Iran has none. We only need to worry about a nuclear surprise attack from oil rich nations that don't have nuclear weapons!
The Oil Warrior (angry): You are missing the point! We must steal the world's oil to save our economy! IT IS THE ONLY OPTION!!!
The Oil Warrior angrily jumps back into his Humvee, backs up, turns around, and drives off over the Average American's Mini Cooper, crushing it flat.
###
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