The Oil Warrior: See here, this is the adult world. It's complicated. As my idol Henry Kissinger says, we cannot hold nation states to the same high ethical standards that we expect of small children.
The Average American (skeptical): Are you sure about that?
The Oil Warrior (points at the headline): See the economy is collapsing! Aren't you scared?
The Oil Warrior: Invading the oil rich nations of the world will pay for itself and save our economy!!!
The Average American: Didn't you say that about the war in Iraq?
The Oil Warrior: See here, eventually Iraq will pay for itself. The Wall Street Journal editorial page tells me so.
The Average American (scratching his head): Er, um, I'm not sure the Wall Street Journal editorial page writers know what they are talking about. I remember reading this editorial about how private sector mortgage-backed securities from banks like Citigroup were providing affordable housing for poor Americans ... you know back during the housing bubble ... before the foreclosures ... the global economic collapse.
The Oil Warrior: Liberal hippie activists like ACORN made the private sector banks like Citigroup do it!
The Average American: So why did the Wall Street Journal editorial page endorse this liberal hippie plot against America?
The Oil Warrior: Look, we are getting off topic. I can assure you that Rupert Murdoch and the Wall Street Journal editorial writers are never wrong. Stealing the world's dwindling oil supply is our ONLY OPTION!!!
The Average American: Couldn't we find more oil here?
The Oil Warrior (huffily): The liberal hippie environmentalists won't let us, especially after that BP oil drilling fiasc... incident. WE MUST HAVE A WAR FOR OIL!!!
The Average American: Can't the giant oil companies reporting record profits buy off the liberal hippie environmentalists to let them find more oil here?
The Oil Warrior (aghast): That's bribery! Giant oil companies are law abiding corporate citizens! They would never do that!
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