Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend

Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   1 comment
OpEdNews Op Eds

Menstruating Housewife Bloodies CEO

By       Message Kenneth Johnson     Permalink
      (Page 1 of 1 pages)
Related Topic(s): , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Author 94318
Become a Fan
  (14 fans)
From flickr.com/photos/23656781@N02/3872495431/: Snayperskaya Vintovka Dragunova a.k.a Dragunov Sniper Rifle
Snayperskaya Vintovka Dragunova a.k.a Dragunov Sniper Rifle
(Image by brian.ch)
  Permission   Details   DMCA
p class="">During a recent amateur hockey game consisting of both men and women players, one of the female fForwards caught an offensive bankster out of position, swiped away his puck and scored on a backhand sniper snap-shot from the left-wing point.

A young headline writer in attendance, and itching to make his mark in the news business, created the headline: SNIPER HOUSEWIFE WINGS A COWARDLY EXECUTIVE OLIGARCH.

http://rarehistoricalphotos.com/775-confirmed-kills-one-picture-1945/

It got me to thinking, using history as our guide, an old, but proven Soviet method may be something we could put in place to counter the ruthless cowards who call the shots in their war against us -- we, the people.

Our first task, as we begin the fight to bring democracy to the USA, will be to seek out sponsors for a game show. As an extra incentive, rights to the title of the TV show can be offered to the highest corporate bidder.

Experts will be called upon to search nail salons, beauty parlors and churches nationwide in search of skilled female fighters. A candidate who has completed a certified course in sniper marksmanship will enhance her chance of selection. California tattoo and breast-enhancement, plastic-surgery establishments will be sought out as known dandy places to search.

The fact of the matter is that motivated markswoman candidates will be found where you can find them.

A list of approved cowardly psychopaths will be issued to those selected as first-round sniper award shooters. Advancement to the final round will require scoring a confirmed kill of an appropriate cowardly oligarch.

Snipers will wear helmet cameras. All of their activities will be recorded live, until the cut-off point of six finalists is reached. Wasting anyone who is not on the list will result in possible disqualification, after the circumstance is reviewed by experts at NHL's video-review headquarters in Toronto.

The final candidates will be judged in a way which begins with their overall kill score counting for half of the final total.

The swimsuit competition will count for an additional quarter, as will the philosophical aspiration remarks. They can include such popular topics as WORLD PEACE, EXPLODING THE POPULATION, or even ELIMINATING THE MIDDLE MAN.

The hard part, of course, comes later. Major corporations will only finance the operations to a point, and then will demand Congress cover their losses. Those who rubber-stamp such budgets may tend to hesitate if they somehow discover they, themselves, are the primary targets. Yet, many will figure they will be able to avoid the hunt, and that their generous bonus payoffs will be worth the gamble.

The championship round will continue to be brought live to our television-viewing audience. Eligible auxiliary targets will be announced just after the game show's final commercial break.

Some suggest we employ a more humane approach to solving the problem. A cautious approach, advocated mostly by cult followers, suggests a remedy based on encouraging massive amount of believers to attend group-prayer performances in important cathedrals. Some say this approach can be just as effective, and will make those in attendance feel better.

Another suggestion is to increase the body count of those hoisting clever sidewalk-protest signs through approved areas while shaking off the tear gas gains a worthwhile amount of media coverage, especially if the peacemaker is photographed while pointing up to the clouds like a crazed born-again gooney bird on a special mission from God. The lucky ones are those who already reside in the clouds, looking down -- which is the only way they have ever looked -- wondering what the falderal down below is all about.

This is a work in progress; no final decision has been made as yet. Details still need to be worked out, but we feel we have to start somewhere.

Your input is important. The more people who write comments, the greater the chance we have to win the ultimate victory of our survival as a nation, and as a species.

 

- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

Former teacher; Corporate Lackey. The JFK assassination was a coup d'e'tat. Eclecticist. Riverside County, California, USA


Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon



Go To Commenting
/* The Petition Site */
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Related Topic(s): , Add Tags

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Obama's Legacy May Be Nuclear War

BERLIN, 1966: Correspondence with a cousin

Assets and Traitors

Mairzy Doats, but Sheep'll Eat What They're Fed

A Haughty Spirit Goeth Between Now and Summer

Menstruating Housewife Bloodies CEO