Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 2 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Life Arts    H4'ed 1/23/10

Can We Please Stop Saying "Enjoy Your Day"?

By       (Page 1 of 3 pages)     (# of views)   3 comments

I know it's a meaningless pleasantry, an empty verbal gesture, a cloying alternative to a simple good-bye, but I may bite the nose off the next person who tells me to enjoy myday. Such an act of violence on my part would definitely compromise that person'sday, but it wouldcertainly improve mine.

And what about the word "enjoy"? Doesn't that mean different things to different people?For people with really dull lives, "enjoyable" may mean finding a dime on the sidewalk. For others, an enjoyable day might be defined as one in which theydon't wake up with a penile wart the size of a Milk Dud.

I'm especially delighted when my urologist's receptionist chirps this noxious phrase following the digital rectal exam her employer has just administered, thus causing me to walk bowlegged for the next six hours.

The post-colonoscopy "enjoy your day," is also just the thing I want to hear while I'm desperately wondering what it would feel like the take a crap in my pants because the industrial strength laxative hasn't worn off yet.

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3

 

Rate It | View Ratings

John Blumenthal Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major (more...)
 
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Stark Naked at the Airport

Will Prince Charles Ever Be King?

My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger

I'm in Love with Michele Bachmann

Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas

Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary