Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend

Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   3 comments
Life Arts

Can We Please Stop Saying "Enjoy Your Day"?

By       Message John Blumenthal     Permalink
      (Page 1 of 3 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H4 1/23/10

Author 42212

I know it's a meaningless pleasantry, an empty verbal gesture, a cloying alternative to a simple good-bye, but I may bite the nose off the next person who tells me to enjoy myday. Such an act of violence on my part would definitely compromise that person'sday, but it wouldcertainly improve mine.

And what about the word "enjoy"? Doesn't that mean different things to different people?For people with really dull lives, "enjoyable" may mean finding a dime on the sidewalk. For others, an enjoyable day might be defined as one in which theydon't wake up with a penile wart the size of a Milk Dud.

I'm especially delighted when my urologist's receptionist chirps this noxious phrase following the digital rectal exam her employer has just administered, thus causing me to walk bowlegged for the next six hours.

The post-colonoscopy "enjoy your day," is also just the thing I want to hear while I'm desperately wondering what it would feel like the take a crap in my pants because the industrial strength laxative hasn't worn off yet.

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3


- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting
/* The Petition Site */
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; , Add Tags

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Stark Naked at the Airport

Will Prince Charles Ever Be King?

My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger

I'm in Love with Michele Bachmann

Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas

Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary