Of course, some people - usually the ones that smile too much --- have so many endorphins coursing wildly through their arteries that they feel the need to embellish. As a result, I am sometimes instructed to have a wonderful day, or a fabulous day, or a spectacular day.
What the hell is a spectacular day? One in which I win the Nobel Prize, marry Scarlett Johansson and win a trifecta within 24 hours?
And even if I do all that, how will I top it the next day? Only people on heavy doses of Demerol have spectacular days every day. And if I've just had a spectacular day,not having a spectacular day the next day will inevitably be a serious letdown, possibly resulting in my suicide.
So the next time you tell someone to enjoy their day, ask yourself this question: Do I really give a damn?
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