Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on Reddit Tell A Friend Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites
Exclusive to OpEdNews:
OpEdNews Op Eds

The Golden Ruler; Peace Measures

By       Message Peggy McCann       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   No comments

Related Topic(s): ; ; , Add Tags
Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Author 1970
- Advertisement -
My husband might tell you differently, but I'm a pretty darn peaceful person. I don't step on bugs for instance. Heck I even catch spiders and put them outside instead of squashing them. An act that deserves a Nobel prize in my opinion. So I would have to say that my greatest wish for this poor old world we live in would be, well, peace.

But I am not one of these namby pamby folks that whine on and on about peace but have no ideas on how to achieve it, No indeedy. I have A Plan.

Let me ask you. When you look at the people who start wars, what do you see? All, or nearly all, male faces. This led me to ask what could it be about men that seems to make them want to have wars?

Then it came to me. It must be a contest to see who has the biggest, er, "Weapon of Mass Destruction".

- Advertisement -
I mean seriously. Look at all the implements of war. Rifles, missles, etc. They all tend to be big, long, and pointy; and the longer and bigger they are, the more excited men seem to get over them. Defense contracters were famously known for showing government officials graphics of Russian huge, red missles and U.S missles as smaller and blue. No doubt with an inference that with their new bombs, American missles would not only be bigger, but more upright.

Finally I had an insight, surely divinely inspired. It was like someone flicked on a light switch. It was so simple, so suddenly glaringly obvious, like staring into the sun. We just need to find out for men who REALLY has the bigger ones.

So this is my plan. We give every woman on the planet a wooden ruler. Tell the boys to whip em out and then measure. Whoever has the biggest wins the war. It's cheap, effective, and non violent. It's renewable even. Everybody would be happy, with the exceptions of the guys that err, fall short, and possibly Ann Coulter. I assume her Unholiness always lose, but one never knows I suppose. Maybe she's hiding more than an Adam's Apple.

- Advertisement -
It would unquestionably mean losing some woodies, er, I mean wood, but such sacrifices in the interest of humanity are sometimes necessary. Anyway like I said, they are renewable. Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about trees.

 

- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Peggy McCann is a mother and writer living in Greensboro, NC.

Peggy McCann Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Related Topic(s): ; ; , Add Tags
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Playing God

Manna From Heaven in Colorado

Sesame Whitehouse? The Children's Hour

Radiohead: Confessions of a RW Talk Radio Addict

thanks for The Friendly Skies George

A War On Terror That Everybody Would Win