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Laying Back and Enjoying It

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Message Peggy McCann
I am quite sure that many of you are going to be totally disgusted by this, but I find the current "PageGate" of the GOP funnier than hell. (OK, using the moniker "PageGate" is pretty lame, but come on, everybody does it.)

Don't get me wrong. If it had been my kid the creep had propositioned, he wouldn't have had to worry about going to rehab because he would have already been in the hospital. And I am sure that there are sensitive, dignified kids out there that this would have affected deeply. It goes without saying how troubling it is that it appears the GOP in Congress, some of the most influential people in the nation, and for that matter, the world, covered this up. It makes you wonder what else they are keeping secret.

At least when it comes to the kids, however, I get the impression that most of them were just humoring the middle aged gay guy. I don't think for the most part that they were all that traumatized, and so far, there is no hint that he actually had sexual contact with any of them.

So with that out of the way, mostly what's left is the funny parts. It's almost impossible to know where to start. I've gotten to the point that I am turning on the news channels for laughs. It's better than an episode of the Daily Show, or the Colbert Report.

First of all, let's talk about the effect on the GOP base. There is nothing the Religious Right hates more than sex scandals, and this is about UNDERAGE HOMOSEXUAL sex. Talk about your unholy trinity. I bet James Dobson, leader of the ultra conservative Christian group Focus On the Family has steam coming out of his ears and veins pulsing in his neck ready to explode.

Then you have the fact that if Foley is indicted and tried it will be based on some of the laws that he himself pushed through. My husband says I use the word irony incorrectly, but come on, that has to fit, doesn't it? The Gentleman from Florida also now has used every patented excuse from alcohol to being abused as a child. And if that weren't enough he's also blaming it on bigotry against gays. Well, you know how tolerant GOP conservatives are about gays. They actually let them live and stuff, they don't even send them to jail or anything. Well, I guess they would have imprisoned them if the Supreme Court hadn't struck down sodomy laws, but hey, at least they are obeying the ruling.

Just seeing ole Denny Hastert twisting in the wind is humor enough in the situation. (I will refrain from making fat jokes. Shame on you for thinking it.) And watching the circle finger pointing firing squad mentality going on in the GOP is delicious icing on the cake. Whoops, better make sure naked pages don't pop out of that cake. You never know what GOP congressmen might do.

W hasn't had much to say about the situation, but I did get a good chuckle out of him saying in California that the Democrats can't be trusted to run Congress. Well that might be true, but it seems they can be more trusted to run the page program.

Of course, the bleating on RW talk radio about Democratic dirty tricks is pretty hysterical. Evidently it's OK to coverup sex scandals before an election, just not reveal them. Some of them at first said Foley was set up with fake email accounts. Maybe they have a point. It's so easy to get turned on by teenagers. And I know when I do, and ask for their email addresses, they give me fake ones that really go to other people that use the email to embarrass me every time.

I actually think the page program should gotten rid of. This isn't the first scandal of this kind, albeit not only with GOP politicians. Congressmen seem to have a problem with not treating the program like some kind of personal candy jar.

But for all those GOP congressmen that might get thrown out now that these tidbits have been revealed, I have a suggestion for them. I think they might have a career on the Comedy Channel. You can't make this stuff up. With material like this, they could get better ratings than Stewart and Colbert combined. On the other hand, forget it. Jon and Stephen are way cuter than Denny Hastert. If only they were teenagers.
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Peggy McCann is a mother and writer living in Greensboro, NC.
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