1. Grass- Roots Protest
On April 15 the employees of Haliburton, AIG, Blackwater and Goldman- Sachs - all went out teabagging with one slogan, 'Keep your fingers away from our bonuses!'
2. American Idol 2020
In 2020 a person picked will be a total freak of nature. That will be a woman, reasonably pretty, married, with children, living with her husband and knowing how to cook. She will be picked for singing a lullaby.
3. Bushie, The Torturer
President Bush authorised several kinds of torture, especially one when a person is suffocated by the water forcefully poured into his/her mouth through a piece of cloth. ' We did that in our frat all the time,'- he said to the reporters.
A certain Mr. W. accused Red Beaver of ' lecturing' on OEN. Red Beaver here replies that he only lectures those with cognitive abilities.
4. Closet Islamist
Another person, a certain Mr. M. accused Red Beaver of being a 'closet Islamist'. Red Beaver here officially comes out of the closet and proclaims that he is an open Islamist together with 250mln circumsized Americans who deny themselves being Jewish.
5. From Russia With Song
YES, we published the torture memos and NO, we will not prosecute for actually exercising tortures. The last time such position was applied took place in 1956 in the Krushev's Russia where according to the song, ' Russia forgave both the victims and the executioners at the same time.'
6. Pirates From the Music
At the moment when the USS Baibridge entered the Mombasa port blasting it with ' Sweet Home Alabama', the ranks of the pirates suddenly drastically increased. Lots of people were from the Mombasa area. When asked, they all answered, ' Whoever can create and enjoy such noise certainly deserves to be punished.'
7. New TV Show
The new show will be called ' Everybody Hates Condi' and will present Condi Rice, a sportswriter, GW Bush, her adoptive father, C. Thomas, her unfortunate brother and a 'partner'- the role for which candidates are sought.