Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend

Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   2 comments
OpEdNews Op Eds

Red Beaver's Rant: Funny And Not

By       Message Mark Sashine     Permalink
      (Page 1 of 2 pages)
Related Topic(s): , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

Funny 1  
View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

Author 451
Become a Fan
  (59 fans)

1. Grass- Roots Protest

On April 15 the employees of Haliburton, AIG, Blackwater  and Goldman- Sachs - all went out teabagging with one slogan, 'Keep your fingers away from our bonuses!'

 2. American Idol 2020

In 2020 a person picked will  be a total freak  of nature. That will be a woman, reasonably pretty, married, with children, living with her husband and knowing how to cook. She will be picked for  singing a lullaby.

3. Bushie, The  Torturer

 President Bush authorised several kinds of torture, especially one when a person is suffocated by the water forcefully poured into his/her mouth through a piece of cloth. ' We did that in our frat all the time,'- he said to the reporters.

3.Lectureship

A certain Mr. W. accused   Red Beaver of ' lecturing' on OEN.   Red Beaver here replies that he only lectures those with cognitive abilities.

4. Closet Islamist

Another person, a certain Mr. M. accused  Red Beaver of being a 'closet Islamist'.  Red Beaver here officially comes out of the closet and proclaims that he is an open Islamist together with  250mln circumsized Americans who deny themselves being Jewish.

5.  From Russia With Song

YES, we published the torture memos and NO, we will not prosecute for actually exercising tortures.  The last time such position  was applied took place in  1956  in the Krushev's Russia where  according to the song, ' Russia forgave both the victims and the executioners at the same time.'

6. Pirates From the Music

At the moment when the USS Baibridge entered the Mombasa port  blasting it with ' Sweet Home Alabama',  the ranks of the pirates  suddenly drastically increased. Lots of people were from the Mombasa area. When asked, they all answered, ' Whoever can create and   enjoy such noise  certainly deserves to be  punished.'

7.  New TV Show

The new show will be called  ' Everybody Hates Condi' and will present Condi Rice, a sportswriter,  GW Bush, her adoptive father, C. Thomas, her  unfortunate brother and  a 'partner'- the role for which candidates are sought.

Next Page  1  |  2

 

- Advertisement -

Funny 1  
View Ratings | Rate It

The writer is 57 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE, CEM. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.


Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon



Go To Commenting
/* The Petition Site */
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Related Topic(s): , Add Tags

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Human Coprophagia

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

Y2012- The Year Of A Coward

They Think Of Us As Slaves ( small note with big conclusion)

The School. Reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird' in Russia

Glory and Malice