"She must be stupid," said Rudy. Newt nodded in agreement.
"So you think I should do it, guys?" asked Donald. "I mean, I made a point of telling the press after the debate that I was going to bring up Bill and his women in the debate, but didn't, so that the press could tell people that I was being nice when I didn't have to be -- and I can be very nice, if you know what I mean. I mean, I'm the nicest guy you ever met. But I didn't have to be and I wanted people to know that and, since I didn't bring it up, how could they know? Know what I mean?"
"Uh huh," all replied.
''But the time for being nice is over, Donald," said Roger. "All the legitimate polls -- not the ones they quote on my old Fox stomping grounds -- show her comfortably ahead of you. We've got to give your core supporters -- the ones who don't read -- more red meat to consume. Bill's affairs. That's the ticket. Make them forget about your tax-dodging -- and your draft-dodging, too, for that matter."
"Hey, Roger, low blow," said Donald. "Nobody in this room served in uniform. But my sexual escapades years ago put to shame all the groping and leering you did at Fox. By the way, Who was hotter, Gretchen Carlson or Megyn Kelly? You get anything from either one? I hear Fox paid Gretchen $20 million to go away and drop her lawsuit. How are things with you and your wife over in Garrison?"
"I'm living in New Jersey now."
''Bummer, right Rudy?" said Donald. "Didn't you marry your cousin once? And remember when you had your girlfriend march with you in the St. Patrick's Day Parade, instead of your wife, Donna? That would have been great reality TV. Especially letting Donna know you guys were splitting by announcing it at a press conference. Great ratings. Plus the fooling around with your young press aide. Being mayor was good, huh?"
"Yeah, but what about Newt?" asked Rudy. "Being speaker of the House had its perks, too, right Newt? After all, you were sleeping with your young press aide in Congress while you were married to your second wife, who you were cheating with on your first wife while she was fighting cancer. And didn't you ask your second wife for an open marriage -- sort of what I wanted from Donna?"
"Yeah,'' said Newt. "She said 'no.' No imagination. She even told the press I didn't have the moral character to be president when I was thinking of running. Imagine that. So I divorced her and married Callista. We're still together."
"Like me and Melania," puffed Donald.
"Yeah, how'd you manage that?" asked Rudy. "I remember your first wife, Ivana. Gorgeous. And a terrific businesswoman, but, what, you had three kids and she just wanted to raise them after a while?"
"Yeah. And her foreign accent sounded too weird for a potential First Lady. See, guys, I was thinking about running for president way back then."
"Really? So I can see why Marla Maples, was attractive to you," said Rudy. "Young. Model. Actress. Well-spoken."
"But she wouldn't pose nude for Playboy,'' said Donald. "Boring."
"Yeah, but not always," said Rudy, a former prosecutor. "I hear you took the Fifth Amendment 96 times in your deposition on the divorce from Ivana when they asked about whether you were sexually involved with other women. That's impressive.''
"Actually, it was 97 times, Rudy, but who's counting?"
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