The left usually responds by saying, "There is no liberal agenda," and calling it quits.
But guess what campers--there is a liberal agenda. Oh yes, there really, really is.
The great liberal agenda, the object of the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy, is to make life better for every individual in this country.
We're good neighbors.
Very simply, we want the best not only for ourselves, but for everyone around us. We want this because we believe that every person deserves a life in which they can be healthy, free, and happy. (Those three should ring a bell--life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, anyone?)
What makes us good neighbors is that we do not just want these things for ourselves, or for our friends and family. We want them for everyone. We want them for the people in the next house, the people down the street, and people 2,000 miles away. We want them for George W. Bush, and we want them for Dick Cheney, and we want them for you.
The conservative agenda aims to take these things away from Americans. Conservatives aren't good neighbors. They have demonstrated this again and again, and we are complicit to a degree because we have allowed them to do this to you. We are sorry, and we see the cost of this mistake, and we want to do better. We can do better, because we're good neighbors.
A good neighbor is there with candles and a hurricane lamp when your power goes out. A good neighbor helps you jump-start your car when you accidentally leave the headlights on. A good neighbor is there to watch your kids when you have to run out for a gallon of milk, or to an emergency. A good neighbor shares tools, and cups of sugar, and jokes over the fence. A good neighbor will pick up your mail every day while you are on vacation and help you install your air conditioner when you aren't.
In government, liberals can deliver as good neighbors. We can keep your taxes low so you hold on to more of your money and simultaneously cut the national deficit so your kids don't inherit our debt. We can make sure you, and everyone you know, have access to healthcare so if you get sick, you won't be left hanging. We can make sure you have a job, and that if you lose your job you won't get left out in the cold. We can make sure that you are able to retire you are still young enough to enjoy your golden years. We want you and your kids to get the best possible education--hell, you're paying for it, you deserve it. We just want your quality of life to be the absolute best it can be, because we care about your well-being.
We want all of this, and we will do all of this, because we're good neighbors.