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Life Arts    H4'ed 7/25/20

The Ultimate Racial Fight: "Standard American English"

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The old school teacher...
The old school teacher...
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populumpoetry="y">Haven't had your fill yet of hot racial strife?
There's lots more on the way to sweeten your life.
I'm talking this fall when the schools open doors,
And into their hallways a multitude pours,
This multitude consisting of girl and boy
And those whose pronouns are a trick to employ.
.
But more to the point, kids who speak different ways,
Like saying "We speaks" and use sundry odd phrase,
Which for sure cause Teacher to flash her red pen,
And let Johnny know this is fine for grown men,
Who swish cool three-pointers while talking their trash,
But alas, the book rules: "we speaks" is too rash.
.
So schoolwards does Johnny's mommy come striding,
Indignant indeed and on high horse riding,
To point out to Teacher "we speaks" is correct,
And if she don't think so she's going to regret
The day she elected her worthy profession,
Which really is none but culture suppression.
.
Thus is dinner served for the folks who like fights
And consider "we speaks" as one of their rights.
The principal's pulled in, and then the school board,
Which now holds its meetings before a great horde
That demands admission of "we speaks" as right,
And God help the objector whose skin is too white.
.
"Standard American English" is thus in the dock,
A committee quick formed to re-write its full stock,
Pitting the proper Defenders of Proper
Against those promoting an English of pauper,
Amidst accusations of bias of race,
For when push comes to shove, out fast comes that ace.
.
You think the George Floyd matter stirred the Big Pot?
Wait till our language is the center of plot.
Few knew poor Floyd but every George can fine speak,
And thoughts does have 'bout what's right and what's freak.
So tune up your grammar, friend, cinch your vocab',
What's coming up soon is the final mob grab.

 

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"11/9 and the Terrorist Who Loved Bonsai Trees" is Philip Kraske's just-published novel. It can be found at his website: www.philipkraske.com

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