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Selling the Revolution

By       Message Allan Goldstein       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   6 comments

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ood morning, progressives. I want to thank you for coming to this seminar. I've done an analysis of your business and I'm afraid the numbers don't look good. That's the bad news. The good news is that I'm here to help you fix it.

Let's break it down and see if we can find the problem. You have the concepts, you have the vision, you have the moral compass. You should have more than enough voters to waltz just about any candidate you want into any office in the land.

But you don't. You took a murderous shellacking two years ago and your revolution looks further away than ever. Why are you failing when you should be winning? What's missing from the progressive agenda?

Salesmanship, my friends. Frankly, you stink at it. Your competition consistently outsells you, and their product is a steaming pile of crap.

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I want to ask everyone here a question. Do you really believe? Do you believe your ideas are the best ones out there? Do you think it's a matter of life or death for your customers if they are misled and buy the competition's failed ideas instead?

Of course you do. And since you do, don't you have a moral obligation to sell your ideas to the absolute best of your ability?

So, how are your sales figures this month? How are you doing closing deals, promulgating ideas, changing minds?

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Because that's your job, you know. Changing minds. If you don't succeed at that it's not the customer's fault. It's yours.

Starting right now we're going to turn this around. I don't want to hear any more negativity. Negativity doesn't sell.

Take Social Security, for instance. It's running short of cash. Your competitors on the right don't really care if it does or doesn't, as long as the people don't blame them.

But you have a better story to tell, a positive story.

Prospect: "What do we do about this danged Social Security thing?"

Progressive: "We'll, I'll tell you Mrs. Voter. We could do like the Republicans want and raise the retirement age up to where a coal miner couldn't come out of the earth until he was so full of carbon he could sign his checks with his tongue. Or we could fix it the progressive way.

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"Just take the cap off that tax, keep the rate the same and tax those folks making over 100K the same as a guy making five bucks an hour and problem solved. That's your modern, progressive, Social Security fix, right there!"

See? Salesmanship. Pitch your ideas in a positive way and I guarantee you, they'll sell. Tell your customer he's an idiot and he'll buy snot-covered crud from your competition, just to spite you.

A good salesperson doesn't cuss out his customers if they make the occasional objection. He expects objections and he never finds them objectionable. He hears what his prospect has to say, nods appreciatively, then gets back to selling his product.

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San Francisco based columnist, author, gym rat and novelist. My book, "The Confessions of a Catnip Junkie" is the best memoir ever written by a cat. Available on, or wherever fine literature is sold with no sales tax collected. For (more...)

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