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OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 4/1/19

Leaked Mueller Report Proves Barr Lied; Collusion Theorists Vindicated

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Robert Mueller
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An unredacted copy of the Robert Mueller report has been leaked to the Washington Post, who published the full document on its website Monday.

The report contains many shocking revelations which prove that Attorney General William Barr deceived the world in his summary of its contents, as astute Trump-Russia collusion theorists have been claiming since it emerged.

For example, while Barr's excerpted quote from the report may read like a seemingly unequivocal assertion, "[T]he investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities," it turns out that the full sentence reads very differently: "It is totally not the case that the investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities." The following sentence is even more damning: "It definitely did establish that that happened."

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The report goes on to list the evidence for numerous acts of direct conspiracy between Trump allies and the Russian government, including a detailed description of the footage from an obtained copy of the notorious "kompromat" video, in which Trump is seen paying Russian prostitutes to urinate on a bed once slept in by Barack and Michelle Obama, as well as other documents fully verifying the entire Christopher Steele dossier which was published by BuzzFeed in January 2017.

Other evidence listed in the report includes communication transcripts in which Russian President Vladimir Putin is seen ordering President Trump to bomb Syria, stage a coup in Venezuela, arm Ukraine, escalate against Russia in America's Nuclear Posture Review, withdraw from the INF treaty and the Iran deal, undermine Russia's fossil fuel interests in Germany, expand NATO, and maintain a large military presence near Russia's border. These things were done, according to Putin, in order to "keep things interesting."

Mueller told reporters Monday morning that there would indeed be mass indictments of large numbers of Trump associates revealed in the near future, including Jared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr., just as the diligent journalism of MSNBC and other respected news media outlets have been assuring. Mueller said the delay in the arrests, and the mountain of evidence which will surely lead to Trump's impeachment, was due to the need to "cross a few 't's and dot a few 'i's."

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When asked why he didn't reveal to the public that Barr was misrepresenting the contents of his report, Mueller responded with a mischievous grin, "I didn't want to spoil the surprise." He then put on a pair of sunglasses and rode off on a motorcycle due east into the rising sun, while the smooth notes of a single saxophone resounded through the D.C. cityscape.

So the walls are closing in on Trump. Needless to say, this completely vindicates the many alert reporters who rightly pointed out that Barr's assertions about the Mueller report could be gravely dishonest, and that there was no way to know whether or not it had determined collusion between Trump and the Russian government. In a greater sense, it vindicates everyone who has spent the last three years focusing all public attention on the suspicion that the Kremlin could possibly have infiltrated the highest levels of the US government. In an even greater sense, it vindicates America, and it vindicates our very souls.

I feel a bit sheepish writing all this, because I've been a very vocal critic of the Russian collusion narrative from the very beginning. It turns out that by voicing skepticism and demanding evidence for a news story that dominated political discourse to the near exclusion of all else, I was actually assisting the Russian government in its war against democracy, truth, and justice.

Obviously I owe the world a very big apology. I'm sorry for calling the Russia-gaters idiots, morons, drooling imbeciles, stupid, gullible sheep, foam-brained human livestock, tinfoil p*ssy-hat-wearing delusional conspiracy theorists, demented cold war-enabling McCarthyite bootlickers, oafish slug-headed slime creatures, energy-sucking, CIA-coddling wastes of space and oxygen, and an embarrassment to the human species. Clearly, because of their indisputable vindication this April the first 2019, they are definitely none of these things.

 

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Caitlin Johnstone is a brave journalist, political junkie, relentless feminist, champion of the 99 percent. And a powerful counter-propaganda tactician. Rogue journalist, poet, illustrator, utopia prepper, and proudly 100 percent reader-funded through Patreon (more...)
 

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April Fools!

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 3:53:15 PM

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One of the best! Had me going until Mueller rode off with shades on his motorcycle...

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 4:11:36 PM

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A great psychological ploy. Leak actual facts as they should appear in the Mueller report then spring them as being an April fools Joke. Oddly the true facts of the report may actually read something like this, but by the time we actually see them we will still be thinking they are just a joke.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 8:12:14 PM

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Great summary. Now is the time to start believing Mueller. He is a changed man since his part in lying us into the Iraq war. Think back to the 2016 election. Surely you remember the Russians telling you to vote for Trump and not the Israeli influence. I am so glad he is helping us now!

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 4:09:40 PM

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:D

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The links to the Wash Post have been altered. I want to download the entire report.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 4:23:38 PM

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I don't have time for April fool shaggy dog stories. I resent this nonsense.

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She got you big time, Man. Bow to her mastery.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 9:46:41 PM

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Cute!

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 11:19:30 PM

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"You might think it's ok" The Honorable Adam Shiff speaks truth... click here for what will become an historic speech.


All the pundits and opinions out there about Mueller's report make this authentic comment resound.

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"You might think it's ok" The Honorable Adam Shiff speaks truth... click here for what will become an historic speech.


All the pundits and opinions out there about Mueller's report make this authentic comment resound.

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I don't how concerned you are, my friends, about a certain report investigating a certain President (or it's lack thereof), but you should be. You should be very concerned indeed. I want to state a few simple facts, and you are most welcome to disagree if you like.

For almost two years, a very great deal hung on this report. It's outcome. It's veracity. It's tenacity. Not just a Presidency. But democracy, in a very real sense. And yet this much vaunted report""the last check and balance on abuse of power""on which so much depended, so far as we know, amounts to something less than a wet cough in a thunderstorm. What the?

Through the reports' utter impotence, we can infer two facts which, to me, suggest the worst. America's judiciary and its rule of law effectively belong to its authoritarians at this point. But those were the last functioning institutions of democracy left. What does that imply?

America's authoritarians are now free to do whatever they like, and laugh, since they know they won't be held to account""just like they do in the authoritarian states that, ironically Americans have long loved to decry. Harass and hound and punish opponents, intimidate and bully adversaries, humiliate them, try and jail them, parade them, make examples out of them, control society through fear and a kind of authoritarian terror people from such collapsed societies know all too well. (If you think I'm kidding, consider for a fact that the torture of kids in camps is already a daily reality in 2018's America"that nobody really cares about.)

I didn't write that... it ishere. Argue away.... but truth stands, and BEHAVIOR is all!

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I'd be happy to show you how Zionists got Trump in power, via several links, but OEN wouldn't' allow it and I'd hate to give you a heart attack.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 9:37:29 PM

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I am happy that you finally realize that Trump is the symptom of the underlying disease. Moreover, he exposed some folks I thought would never show up as reactionary authoritarians masquerading as liberals and the left. He shook up the establishment globalists but now he is fully accommodative. Please observe Pompeo and Pence as they observe the Trump when he is speaking. They are still nervous...is he on the same page or not? The body language is telling. Trump should get a fake Oscar.

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Here is the reactions to the Mueller Report in Russia on FOX.

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Absolutely priceless. I had to watch it to the end.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 6:46:20 PM

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You know, Caitlin, a really good reporter, like Rachel Maddow, would have pointed out that the sax Mueller was riding off into the sunrise to was playing "Careless Whisper," the Wham! song featured in the comic-book-antihero film Deadpool. (Interesting bit of trivia: like Deadpool, Russiagate was also directed by an "overpaid tool." Coincidence? I think not.)

I'm also pretty sure a top-shelf journo like Rachel would have thought to ask who paid for Mueller's sunglasses. (I won't leave you hanging: it was Putin, via an elaborate trail of banking havens and human-asset cutouts, including the Crimean referendum-rigging team, the Skripal assassination squad, Lee Camp, Abby Martin, Jimmy Dore, Chelsea Manning, Edward Snowden, Julian Assange, Craig Murray, Jeremy Corbyn, Rafael Correa, Nicolas Maduro, Evo Morales, and Fidel Castro. That's right: Cuba faked Fidel's death just so he could serve as one of Putin's cutouts. I'm pretty sure the guy in YouTube's "Sexy Sax Man" series of videos was involved, too -- the "Careless Whisper" connection is patently obvious to anyone with counterespionage training.)

Otherwise, it was very grown-up of you to admit how completely and consistently wrong you were when America's great cable news networks and newspapers or record have been shouting the truth at us 24/7/365 for the past two-plus years. If you treat this as a learning opportunity rather than a humiliation, you too may one day become a Real Journalist and Great Reporter like Rachel. Happy April Fool's Day, Caitlin.

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Mueller's sunglasses a re just the tip of the iceberg. Don' you realize that Putin may be the money behind everybody's eyeglasses. Yes, Russia is that powerful--the number one threat.

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Caity is competing with Teodrose Fikre of the Ghion Journal for title of best April Fools today.

onjournal.com/ghion-sold-out/

I think it's a tie. Well done, both of you.

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I appreciate the effort gone into these two pieces and declare them better than anything from the last few years, but I give Caitlin a style point for somehow making the ludicrous seem possible. I was hit with a hammer of humility at the possibility of being wrong in something I have had to defend to the willingly deceived. It worked especially well because many of my beliefs depended largely her reporting or her confirmation of stories that seemed to fit.

I'll also give Caitlin Muse of the Year. Her mastery of objectivity, humanity, satire, poetry and factual reporting has my heartfelt admiration.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 9:44:41 PM

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She got Jerry going for a sec. That says something.

Submitted on Monday, Apr 1, 2019 at 10:00:07 PM

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OK, now that the fake RNC/DNC dog and pony show has elevated tRump (Once again, thank you Hillary) can we move on to REAL crimes?

Demanding lower Real Estate taxes by faking lower value while simultaneously demanding (and receiving) loans based upon fake higher value IS A CRIME.

Submitted on Tuesday, Apr 2, 2019 at 2:59:11 PM

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Caitlin is a great writer. I now know, she also has a great sense of humor! :)

Submitted on Tuesday, Apr 2, 2019 at 6:32:18 PM

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