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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 8/29/10

Glenn's Not So Funny Anymore

Message Tom Aiken

Note: I've been watching this stuff on and off all day. I think it's over.

I would never have believed it in a million years.

But there it was in high definition -- thousands of my neighbors, co-workers, hell, even some friends, gathered at the site of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech to celebrate honor and restoration... with Glenn Beck?

Yup, you heard right, Glenn Beck: the regularly televised buffoon who uses eye drops so he can go cry in front of a blackboard and moan about our "having lost our way," all this followed by a speil for gold investments -- about the only business willing to advertise on his show anymore. And it's no coincidence Beck has a stake in the firm.

You see, everything about Glenn Beck is just plain wrong, and millions of Americans agree. But there's a problem. There are millions who don't. As I watched the mostly white hordes on television, any sarcasm I might want to offer in reference to the whole affair dribbled away like water down a drain.

These people aren't a joke anymore. Palin, Paul, Quayle, and of course Beck -- no humor there, just desperate smiles of resolution as we slowly realize we might yet lose.

This is scary business. And the FOX News right-wingers are already all over themselves with smarmy smiles and promises of hell on earth for anyone who might disagree with their tired chatter. On one "Gut the Liberal" roundtable S.E. Cupp (whom I shouldn't be giving any credence to were it not for her truly odious performance) was particularly adolescent, laying down passive/aggressive torts before glancing into the camera with a wink and a nod, as if to telegraph a school-girlish "Isn't he silly" to all the golf widows marooned out there in front of their flat screens.

Another ominous sign was the crowd. Going past cynical liberal downgrades, the audience looked like it numbered two to three times beyond some of the figures laughingly estimated. This of course means there are millions of people out there in television land who believe the exact same things as Beck and Palin claimed today, believe them whole-heartedly. And these folks just happen to be my fellow citizens.

Jesus Christ...

However, truly the worst part of the afternoon was the realization this was no more than a marketing test -- a quick taste of the broth as if to see just how many people they can still con. The Republican Party has been eerily quiet of late in reference to the Tea Party, allowing people such as Palin and Limbaugh to keep the fires stoked while likes of Karl Rove begin cutting deals of their own.

But now the cat's out of the bag; there's no telling what they'll do.

Its obvious "Libertarians" like the recently exposed multi- billionaire Koch brothers (who seem to be financing this "rebellion" as well) want to own us lock, stock and barrel. And with their control of media, therefore control of the issues, they have millions of viewers mesmerized by their propaganda, happily voting against their own best interests because gay people want to get married.

Imagine Sarah Palin as president. Seriously, think about it for a minute. John Boehner Speaker of the House? Ben Quayle handling "unemployment reform?" Rand Paul race relations? With the help of rigged election machines, known as e-slates in the trade, shifty computer programing, and a dose of old fashioned theft it's not looking near as ridiculous as it might have once seemed.

If ever there's been a time to get our asses out into the streets and do something, it's now. They can still be stopped. We just have to make it clear they know it.


1) Gawker (4PM Saturday) has noted the affair as boring, suggesting the audience were mostly resting in lawn chairs. Unfortunately the pictures of the event don't lie.

2) Most press outlets are estimating the crowd "in the tens of thousands." My own uneducated guess? One hundred and fifty thousand, give or take... which is more than enough for me.

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Tom Aiken is a writer based in Austin, Texas. He has written for numerous publications including The Village Voice, Heavy Metal amd M'Zine (RIP). Mr. Aiken also has a spanking new blog -- AikenLand -- for publication of his more unpublishable work. (more...)
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