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Sarah Palin is Us

By       Message Tom Aiken     Permalink
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View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H2 11/22/10

I woke up with Sarah Palin this morning. No, I can't tell you what she looks like sans make-up and have no lurid stories for those who do their thinking below their belts. And no, I can't tell what she takes in her coffee, whether she likes her bacon crisp or extra crunchy, her eggs runny or boiled tight. I don't know what color her panties are or just what, exactly, is hidden beneath all those sequins and detachable American flags, much as my more prurient side might want to have a peek. But I woke up with her this morning... and I think I'm going to be sick all day.

Sarah's been with me for months now, no matter how I try to shake her. Hell, she's inescapable; tweeting here, Facebooking there, gosh-golly-geeing everywhere. She greets us from the Alaskan wilderness in her Outdoor Outfitters chic as the TLC cameras roll, pontificating in her oh-so-folksy fashion about life, liberty and the pursuit of an America that never was and never will be. But it doesn't matter. Sarah Palin is busily living out our unrequited dreams.

Used to be this country was a place where one could rise from nothing to reach infinity -- or at least that's what they told us. The copywriters called it "The American Dream", and largely it was. But there was a percentage, infinitesimal though it may have been, who achieved the illusion. It was hard, but not impossible, to squirm your way into the elite. If you wanted it badly enough, there was a always a chance it could be.

Well good luck now, suckers. The whole country's basically gone to Hell in a hand basket. A tiny over-fed few own the place and treat the rest us as imminently disposable, our paychecks shrinking as well-heeled academics suggest we need accept still less for the wheels of industry to turn as in days of yore. We live in a society where, if we're not out trying to kill ourselves on our highways, we're at home killing ourselves with enough corporate approved fats and carbohydrates to give Godzilla a couple of dozen coronaries as our brains drip from our ears, the television loud and somehow ominous -- the soundtrack of our own destruction...

Then along comes Sarah. Up and out from absolutely nowhere. She's staring at Russia from her kitchen window one minute, a duplicitous old man's running mate for the highest office in the land the next. It seems like a fairy tale. And guess what, kids --

It is.

And therein lies the dilemma. As usual Frank Rich has it by the collar ("Could She Reach the Top in 2012? You Betcha", New York Times -- 11/20/10):

"... logic doesn't apply to Palin. What might bring down other politicians only seems to make her stronger; the malapropism and gaffes, the cut-and-run half-term governorship, family scandals, shameless lying and rapacious self-merchandizing. In an angry time when America's experts and elites all seem to have failed, her amateurism and liabilities are badges of honor. She has turned fallibility into a formula for success."

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Tom Aiken is a writer based in Austin, Texas. He has written for numerous publications including The Village Voice, Heavy Metal amd M'Zine (RIP). Mr. Aiken also has a spanking new blog -- AikenLand -- for publication of his more unpublishable work. (more...)

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