The Bather by Auguste Renoir (detail), Barnes Collection
(Image by Public Domain via wiki) Details DMCA
Republican-leaning Americans sure have sex on their mind these days and know that sex sells.
For starters, Fox News star Tucker Carlson hawked red-light testicle tanning treatments recently. He even insisted on his primetime show that more light could enhance male virility. And the owners of the top-rated cable network didn't even blush.
Maybe they were too busy counting their millions. Or red-light tans concealed their blushing skin tone. Either way, sex and lots of money go perfectly together.
But Carlson left out information about a cheaper source of male enhancement. The Sunshine State has nude beaches galore, including at least one in South Florida, which also offers lots of tanning opportunities.
So, as a public service, here is what I learned from the website Visit Florida. It bills itself as the "state's official tourism marketing corporation."
A picture on the "About Us" page shows three young girls in bikinis. They are sandwiched between two boys in bathing suits, which raises some questions. Republican grooming, perchance? Where is the Conservatives of Tik Tok social media page when you need it? Does this display of skin put a giddy-up in the hearts of pedophiles who surf the internet?
I'm just asking, although I know we must remain fair and balanced. So, I'll give the tourism arm of Governor Ron DeSantis credit. The clever folk sure know that words alone don't lure visitors. That must be why a nude beach page also gives us a suggestive sampling of skin, with a young couple resting at the beach. Under it, a caption talks about a man and woman enjoying "the sun at Haulover Beach, the oldest officially recognized naturist beach in Florida."
But the Florida PR wizards are just warming up. An article follows the lovely picture, with more inviting details. Part of it says, "Florida is much more than just a place for naturists to gather," says Ramon Maury, naturist industry representative and voice in Tallahassee. "We are privileged to have some of the best beaches in the world attracting family-centric visitors seeking their little piece of paradise."
Think about what you just read. A conservative Republican administration in the red-leaning state of Florida is promoting family-centric visitors and nude beaches in the same breath. And more to the point, towards the bottom of the nude beach page, state officials publish a link to Lake Como Family Nudist Resorts in Lutz.
Again, questions pop up. Do the family nudist resorts perform sex-crimes checks on patrons? Are they concerned that Jeffrey Epstein types might plan a shindig and a dip in the no-clothing pools?
My questions are important because Governor Ron is ready to romp in the polls this November. And he's mounting the political landscape by insisting that he does all he can to protect the sanctity of righteous family living.
Isn't he the one crushing woke thinking? Didn't DeSantis ban discussions of sexuality from public schools? Isn't he ready to punish socially-conscious investment companies that "discriminate" against people who disagree with them politically?
Of course, these hard-hitting political talking points stand in contrast with the bubble bath the state tourism writers lather on readers. They even continue to pump up the libido count, noting, "Pasco County is actually known as the nudist capital of the world," says Ralph Collinson, former president of the American Association for Nude Recreation, Florida Region.
But why stop there? Website guests discover that Florida businesses created resorts with "no-clothes" swimming pools. Can parents bring children to such resorts? The article doesn't say. Nor do we know if Republican politicians in Florida think kids and adults should mingle in family-friendly nude resorts at no-clothes swimming pools.
Mind you, I don't stand to score any political favors by questioning the wholesomeness of the Visit Florida website. Let people bare their bodies, if not their souls, I say.
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