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Florida Governor 'Covers Up' for Trump

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President Donald John Trump, a freshly minted Florida voter, took over the stage at the BB&T Center in South Florida recently. His riff resulted in a tabloid-style headline in the Sun Sentinel: "Trump says he's seen shirtless Ron DeSantis and he's really buff."

Trump teased his adoring fans with a mental burlesque show. He spoke in awe of the muscles DeSantis possessed, noting he touched the governor and saw him without a shirt. Our president, who was impeached by the House of Representatives on Dec. 18, even caught the eyes of the editors of the Gaily Grind. The online publication bills itself as an "LGBTQ news magazine, reporting on the latest LGBTQ news, entertainment and topics of importance within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community."

The online journal ran this headline: "Trump Brags He Has A 'Gorgeous Chest,' Compliments Florida Governor's Shirtless Muscular Bod." I'm left wondering whether the Gaily Grind editors felt the Trump-DeSantis expose fit in the news, entertainment or topics of importance category for its readers.

Fortunately, a former Trump Administration director of media affairs, now the spokeswoman for the Florida governor, came to our emotional rescue. Helen Aguirre Ferre replied to a query by Sun Sentinel journalists who watched as Trump made provocative comments about DeSantis and himself.

According to the paper, Aguirre Ferre "said by text after the Tuesday event that the president evidently meant to say he saw DeSantis without a jacket, not without a shirt. The two have played golf together, she said."

Her deft correction of Trump's comment is noteworthy because Aguirre Ferre was once a fierce Trump critic. "There's a side of Donald Trump that is anti-feminine. I'm not going to tell you he's a misogynist...but I do think there's something that bothers him about strong and independent women," Wikipedia quotes her as saying in April 2016.

Nevertheless, I understand Aguirre Ferre's loyalty to her former and current bosses. No doubt she wants to protect their modesty. Still, her reply left some questions unanswered.

For instance, Trump and DeSantis played golf together. Where? When? Sometimes guys change and take showers after playing golf. Did Trump and DeSantis change clothing in the locker room? Did they shower? Is it possible Trump saw DeSantis in the locker room? Were they wearing only towels? Did Trump, who brags about the size of his hands, ask DeSantis to compare hand size?

The diversion and cover up by Aguirre Ferre is small change compared to Trump obstructing justice and Congress and the special counsel investigation. All of these serious national exploits get branded as "fake news" by Trump. The GOP does its part, railing against a "sham" impeachment proceeding just this week. Nothing is real unless Trump says it is real, his followers suggest.

However, Sunshine State citizens know better. We saw with our own eyes what Trump said about our governor. We understand that the despised "mainstream media" told us the truth.

Of course, there is always work to do. Next, maybe an enterprising scribe will try to learn whether Trump and DeSantis plan a New Year's Eve toga party at Mar-a-Lago, our president's official voting residence since Nov. 30.

(Article changed on December 19, 2019 at 22:12)

(Article changed on December 19, 2019 at 22:21)

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Steve Schneider lives in Florida. He writes articles for Humor Times, Democracy Chronicles, The Satirist and OpEd News.

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