Article: Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory: The Total Skinny

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I've been investigating this for quite some time,
Miles under cover in that Deep State deep slime,
Slithering through sewers and eavesdropping on folks
Who towards domination are planning to coax
The whole wide planet from St. Kitts to Beijing,
Grinches who'll leave Whoville without a damn thing.
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It was tough, it was risky, and my skin was at stake,
But for my readers there's no effort too great.
When what's on the line is the truth of Covid,
Without which this poor world will never be rid.
To find these vile greaseballs, "Cui bono?" steers true,
And after much research have I truth for you.
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Cui-boners there are left and right in this case,
Big winners and losers all over the place.
Who rubs his hands when nobody goes bowling,
When golfers stay home and there's no consoling
The surfers of sidewalk not to mention the waves?
The first top villain is the video game mave's.
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Closely they're followed by the T-paper firms,
The Pop-Tart makers and those who fight germs,
Like both Mr. Clean and the Tidy Bowl man,
Who cleanse more souls than the Bible or Quran.
Yes, they all got together and pooled their know-how,
The result being the stupendous Corona ka-pow.
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Of course they had help from the Yanks and Chinese,
Maneuvering each one, the other to squeeze,
The Yanks to shove sticks in industrial spokes,
The Chinese to make sludge of financial folks,
Who by the way turned right around to the Fed,
And asked it to insure them their daily bread.
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I could go on with indignant outrages:
The cui-boner list is five single-spaced pages,
But you get the idea, there's folks on the take,
For whom a plagued public is one more good break,
A chit with allies, new slant in the Great Game,
The point is to make sure that nothing's the same.