"I've never been this lucky in my life," I said. "Can I do that with a credit card?"
"We can do a bank draft. It's twenty dollars."
"You're kidding?" I said.
"Would you like me to process a bank draft for you?"
"Well, I don't think I have a lot of options, but do you have any lubricant?"
"All I'll need is your routing number and account number."
I didn't have my routing number. I went to google to search, feeling kind of powerful as I'd asked the almost human voice to hold. I searched for my routing number. Unfortunately, my bank has switched hands sixteen times in the last seven days and there are now about sixty-nine routing numbers.
"No good," I said. "There are just a ton of these."
"They go by state."
I searched by state and nothing came up.
"No good," I said.
"We have to have that routing number. Can you call your bank?"
"It's 7:30 a.m. here and banks don't open until after all their customers go to work, so there's no way to call them."
"Oh, well, can I be of other service to you?"
I called my bank a bit later and got the routing number. I'm writing this while I'm wading through the phone system at the [name of major bank], my mortgage lender. I thought this a good use of my time.
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