Well, Donald, that is proverbial six-million-dollar question. (laughter) Anyway, you could send your migrant hombres to the ghost city. Already look like ghosts from what I see on CNN. Fit right in. You landlord. Too fit right in. How you like that Big Apple?
Trump
(nodding ponderously) Sounds good. I'll have to get Putin's okay though.
Xi
Yeah, the proof is in the Putin. (more laughter) Sure, sure, Donald, anyway, I'll buy Manhattan with IOUs. America give me many. Like opium. By the way, how you like opioid crisis. But, seriously, Donald, most humbly request you give me face time on Mt. Rushmore.
Trump
No can do on Rushmore, Xi. Kristi Noem has reserved a spot next to Lincoln just for me. Take a look. (Sends Xi a link.) I'll spend eternity whispering in his ear. I'll tell him a few things. I'm the greatest emancipator of all time, for instance. We'll compare notes. Break some heads.
Xi
Emancipator. You funny, Donald. Imagine slumlord calling it emancipation. (laughter offscreen) Probably even Teddy Roosevelt laugh that one. Imagine Lincoln squeeze between you two. (offscreen laughter) You like Kangbashi, Donald. Break some balls.
Trump
My tenants are a marvelous people. The deals I gave them. Had to break some heads. Sad. Listen, Xi, I can't give you Rushmore, but I can give you a whole side of Stone Mountain, after we scrub the Confederates off. Keep the horses, if you want --
Xi
Changing soldiers in midstream (laughter) --
Trump
(Ignoring the joke.) The PC Democrats are going crazy down south with Confederate sculptures and statutes. Reminds me of the Taliban and those ancient Buddhist statutes. Could bring another Civil War. It's a marvelous place to bring your family. Hold that thought, Xi, I feel a song coming on (proceeds to an aria, Saving Private Face):
I'm a towering inferno, heat wave of a man
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