"Bugs" Blair made minced carrot out of poor old Ffudd. Chewed him up and spat him sideways. Even though my patience with Blair was thinning, he would make us laugh as he slaughtered the hapless Ffudd, who was replaced by the similarly wretched, but more worrying Ian Duncan Smith. IDS, as he was known to the Tories, (but to us he was that 'new' Tory w..ker ) was equally bald, also had a nice wife and he too was laughed out of the picture.
He gave a speech calling himself the 'quiet' man. It was meant to give him gravitas, but it came across as creepy and lurid. He was 'shushed' to oblivion in the Commons. Then we had the just-as-odious next guy, one Michael Howard. He too, had the regulation suspiciously pretty wife, bald head and was made fun of.....but by his own colleagues as well. Blair was so confident he was off with Bush as he splattered Howard with a glance of the teeth.
The comment everyone remembers, is that there was 'Something of the Night' about him. A devastating and unanswerable taunt, inflicted by Anne Widdicombe a former Tory minister. Better than anything the Labour people could dream up and he was crushed without effort. So what is it about their women? How can Tory buffoons attract anyone, let alone someone nice. Is it sympathy? Power? Money? Drugs? Hypnotism? I suspect all of these in some combination.
To keep the sporting theme going, the Tories were not so much moving, as widening the goalposts. Here was a Prime Minister waging a dodgy war, ignoring the UN, avoiding answers and exaggerating threats. He had bought luxury flats for his children, with dubious funding.
He was losing some colleagues through resignation because they were corrupt, like Mandelson, some through stupidity like Blunkett, rehabilitating them and losing them both again, for other failings. Then there were scandals such as the Kelly affair. How Blair survived the death of this honourable, decent, eminent scientist, shows the difficulties the Tories faced.
Kelly was hounded to death. He was no radical, out to make a name for himself. He was in no way interested in financial reward. He just thought that the case for war had been exaggerated and he was guilty of using the words, or I should say, agreeing with the interviewer, that the case was 'sexed up'. This infuriated the Government, who set about harassing him to his death.
He even believed that there had been weapons of mass destruction! He could have helped the Government! No one in Government resigned. The programme makers did, much to their credit. So did the Director General of the BBC.Dynamite yet the Tories were unable to even broach the subject, as they would have to consider their own support for the Iraq war.
Because they would have also gone to war as we all know..... Or would they? ....I will say the next sentence as carefully as I dare.... I wish the Conservatives had been in power in 2003 ..when we went to war.