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Jon Stewart Castrates CNN’s ‘Crossfire’

By Allen Snyder

I had a snack all ready and was fully expecting some version of an interview from his hysterical fake-news program, Comedy Central’s ‘The Daily Show’.

Instead, America’s best fake-journalist, Jon Stewart, began laying into both Tucker Carlson, the boyish right-winger on CNN’s ‘Crossfire’, and Paul Begala, the show’s voice from the left.

Stewart set the tone early, telling the hosts ‘Crossfire’ wasn’t a ‘bad’ show as he has publicly said; instead it was ‘hurting America’ by pretending to be a ‘debate show’ while pandering to ignorance and sensationalism. He called them both ‘partisan hacks’, begged them to stop and do their jobs, insulted Carlson’s trademark bow-tie and, and as the show faded to commercial, called him a ‘dick’.

My wife and I periodically shot the same look we had when Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunctioned and gave us a too-quick look at one of her boobs, ‘Did you see that?’. Once the disbelief subsided, we realized Stewart was there to slam ‘Crossfire’, not to praise it. His somewhat disorganized, yet crushingly accurate attack, left Begala and Carlson utterly speechless and blubbering and us in stitches.

Between bouts of laughter, though, was a powerful indictment of corporate media, abrogated responsibility, and media mendacity. Stewart’s comments were essentially non-partisan and directed at shout-shows like ‘Crossfire’ in general. But his dander was most clearly up when Carlson, trying to get Stewart to play nice, embarrassed himself beyond repair by confronting Stewart with puffball questions Stewart had addressed to Democratic candidate John Kerry when Kerry recently appeared on ‘The Daily Show’.

Carlson chastised Stewart for squandering a prime opportunity to ask a Presidential candidate some tough questions. Maybe Republican conservatives are immune to irony, but Stewart certainly isn’t. Try as he might, he just couldn’t get Carlson to see it. Granted, Stewart didn’t come right out and say, ‘your show is a lie and a farce, you should start doing your f*cking jobs, you whores’, but he certainly dropped enough hints for them to figure it out on their own.

Since you, Tucker, and other so-called ‘journalists’ are so clueless, allow me to explain. Jon Stewart is a FAKE newsperson; you are supposed to be a REAL one. Thus, it is YOU who have obligation to inform Americans and provide balanced analysis on the issues of the day; Stewart’s only obligation is to make me laugh while you do it. For you to insist that he take seriously a responsibility he has never had and in the same breath, act as though you, the purportedly true ‘journalist’, have no responsibility but to provide ‘theatre’ (as Stewart put it), is the finest in pure horseshit.

It’s little wonder indeed that even though Stewart’s audience may be young and stoned, they’re still more informed than the largely brain-dead crowd that watches mainstream network or cable news (and that includes FOX, CNN, MSNBC, and all the other bogus ‘news’ networks). Stewart’s contempt was palpable in his ‘I don’t’ response to Carlson’s question about his thoughts on Bill O’Reilly’s ‘vibrator flap’ and his ‘I won’t be your monkey’ response to Carlson’s plea to please, please, please, ‘be funny’.

Monday afternoon had the hacks right back at it. Carlson gave an interview expressing his disappointment that Stewart had ‘sold out’ (don’t know what he calls what he himself has done). Then, on Monday’s ‘Crossfire’ shout-fest, they showed a letter calling Stewart ‘overrated and overhyped’, criticizing his suggestion that ‘Crossfire’ viewers are too stupid to see past the bullshit to the news. That the letter was written by a Canadian seems not to have caused a blip on the Irony Meter. James Carville pooh-poohed Stewart’s comments while Bob Novak faux-indignantly called Stewart ‘uninformed’ (again, not a peep from the Irony Meter; is this thing on?).

Couple things are for sure, though. ‘Crossfire’ was never better and Jon Stewart puts all the hacks to shame. They need to have Stewart back on with Carville and Novak there. Like he’s done dozens of times on ‘The Daily Show’, there’s no doubt he’d call Novak a ‘douchebag’. Thanks, Jon, for exposing these boring twits in front of millions of viewers.

Allen Snyder can be reached at  This article is copyright by Allen Snyder and originally published by but permission is granted for reprint in print, email, blog, or web media so long as this credit is attached. Read more of Allen's articles at Allen Snyder Archives


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