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Outing Jeb...

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Message Jayne Stahl
Forget Mark Foley, the president's brother appears to have taken a fancy to hanging out in closets lately, too. As the AP reports, while taking his daily constitutional walk(no pun intended) on the campaign trail in Pittsburgh, Florida governor, and presidential brother, Jeb Bush, came across a horde of protestors on his way to a high stakes fundraiser for Pennsylvania's incumbent Republican senator, Rick Santorum.

A startled, and apparently unprepared, Bush, when confronted by this virulent group of "anti-Republican" demonstrators, which included rank and file members of United Steelworkers union, as well as an anti-war group, sought refuge. Indeed, word has it that the Pittsburgh protestors were so in his face that local law enforcement felt compelled to use stun guns to subdue a few of them, and the first brother, sensing that he was in color code orange country, took cover in the supply closet of a subway station to avoid the crowd.

As if hiding in a closet weren't enough, Bush reportedly also blew a kiss to an antiwar protestor who suggested that he go back where he came from. Hmmmm...one can only wonder what his ultra-conservative buddy, Pennsylvania Senator Santorum, must have said when he found out his key endorser would rather be in the closet than face-off against a bunch of left wing commie steelworkers.

Maybe that's where we could find his famous brother, the president, back in the Vietnam days, in some closet in Texas instead of flying aircraft in the national guard. And wouldn't the world be a much safer, and saner place if the president chose to hide in a closet instead of antagonizing half the planet with his in-your-face rhetoric?

And, oh, if only we could be a fly on the bathroom wall of the posh Duquesne Club, where Friday's fundraiser was held,.so we coould hear the good senator's response when he was told that his favorite scrabble buddy, Jeb Bush, took to cowering inside subway supply closets, and blowing kisses at anti-war protestors.. How "Kiss of the Spider Woman," really!

Consider the irony, after all, in that it was Rick Santorum, back in 2003, when discussing a high court battle over sodomy who declared: "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything." (AP) Well, if nothing else, Santorum can find some consolation in knowing that Jeb kept the closet warm for him.
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Widely published, poet, playwright, essayist, and screenwriter; member of PEN American Center, and PEN USA. Jayne Lyn Stahl is a Huffington Post blogger.
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