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The Washington Post: Paragon of the Fee Press

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Message Rafe Pilgrim


 Agitators have tiresomely been attacking the policies and the integrity of the Washington Post for some time now as being subservient to what they describe as "greed interests," "partisan bias" and "reactionary persuasions." 

 Now the Post has brilliantly discredited such canards in a manner that will forever put such imputations to rest and its critics to shame.

 Just this past week, the Post - with no public hoopla -- modestly allowed it to be known that its newsroom and considerable influence were to be open to anyone with the appropriate bona fides.  This would include private sessions, by appointment, in the homes of Post owners and executives, with attendance of newsroom functionaries to ensure that the perspectives of their "visitor" were not misinterpreted in the subsequent presentation to the public, but factually as news.

 As alluded above, there was none of the usual grand announcement of the Post's newly expanded access and broader representation, and we never would have known were it not for a simple pamphlet to be inappropriately discovered and subsequently misinterpreted by agents of the radical fringe.

 The integrity of the Post, however, is assured by virtue of the conditions (Well, there must be SOME conditions for access, don't we all know!) that ANYONE of us was invited to share his news and perspectives with the Post's brass for consideration in its pages for a mere $25,000 per private session.  But wait, there's more:  if that fee stretches anyone's budget, there's a bulk bargain rate of only $250,000 for ELEVEN sessions!

 All decent and patriotic Americans can now only hope that this will reinforce the Post's image as the champion of the Watergate exposure and an example of the integrity of America's fee (oops!) press, and, moreover, that it finally stills those pestiferous agitators, single-payer advocates, peaceniks, and other such rabble-rousers.

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Rafe Pilgrim, after "a life largely wasted on hard honest work," found himself a jungle of turkey oak, scrub pine and giant palmettos up a dirt road running east of Crystal River, Florida, which neither school busses nor the U.S. Postal Service dare (more...)
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