December 14, 2009
President O'Bomber Defends Acceptance Of NoBull Prize For Implementing Philosophy Of Peace Through War In Goniffstan.
In a wide ranging interview, President B. Rack O'Bomber defended his refusal to reject the NoBull Peace Prize. He had been urged to reject it by American militarists on the ground that sometimes the NoBull Prize had been awarded to people who had contributed to peace, and therefore the NoBull Committee was a bunch of hypocrites.
President O'Bomber began the interview by explaining his new post-campaign philosophy that, in order to reach peace, you must first have war. "The Pentagon and the right wing have persuaded me of this great truth by powerful historical arguments," he said. "To have peace in 1918, nations first had to fight World War I. How could peace have broken out in 1918 without first fighting World War I? The same has been true many times in our history. How could peace have broken out in 1945 without first fighting World War II? How could peace have broken out in Viet Nam in 19, in19, well, wherever it was, if we had not first fought the Viet Namese War (which the Viet Namese, in a fit of anti-American viciousness, call the American War)? I understand all this," he said, "so I am happy to accept the NoBull Prize even if the NoBull Committee is a bunch of hypocrites because they previously gave the NoBull Peace Prize to people who had not created war and therefore had made no contribution to peace. I prefer to think that they have now seen the light of American exceptionalism, that they now recognize the truth of the American theory of making peace as we continuously did with Native Americans, with the Philippines Insurrectionists, with Germany and Japan, with Viet Nam, and so forth."