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Only Boobs, Idiots and the Common Senseless Need Apply at TSA

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Message Sandy Sand

The secret is out.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) hires only boobs, leering, sadistic idiots, who have no common sense and can't get a job anywhere else on Earth.

Although I hold all body piercing (except for belly buttons, and don’t ask me why, because I have no idea) in the lowest esteem, I feel empathy for the physical and emotional pain Mandi Hamlin suffered when she was forced to remove her nipple rings using a pliers before boarding a Dallas-bound plane at the Lubbock, Texas, Airport.

Yikes!  That must have hurt. 

After going through the first screening, alarms went off when Hamlin was wanded by a female TSA agent, who then called over the soon-to-be leering, snickering male buffoon-goon agents.

After explaining that her nipple rings had triggered the alarm she said she couldn’t comply with their request to remove them and offered to let the female agent visually inspect her breast jewelry, because she had nothing to hide.

No, they insisted; she must remove them.    

She was ushered to a privacy screen where she was able to remove the bar-shaped jewelry, but could not remove the ring without the aid of a pliers, which the maniacal agents were all too happy to provide.

Through a veil of tears, Hamlin was able to remove the offending rings before boarding the plane for Dallas.

What’s the first thing a sensible, wounded woman does after getting home?  She makes a well-placed phone call to the country’s best known attorney, Gloria Allred.

Allred immediately dashed off a letter to the director of TSA’s Office of Civil Rights and Liberties and …best of all…held a press conference.  There’s nothing like a visual demonstration of the self-torture the TSA agents inflicted on this poor passenger to fully tell her story.

Using a padded bra decorated with piercing jewelry, Hamlin demonstrated what she had to go through to remove the jewelry.  She also described how she could hear the male agents snickering while she was doing it.

The absurd irony of this is that Hamlin has a navel ring that she was not asked to remove, and was able to pass the last security check with that ring in place.

Other than being an exercise in depraved, Machiavellian cruelty and utter stupidity on the part of the TSA agents, no one has yet to explain why they did what they did.

TSA rules say that body piercing can be visually inspected.  Since people pierce their bodies in some strange places, I can envision men with penis piercing walking through airport security lines waving their poles for inspection, and gyn-cos being called in to inspect vaginal piercing.

Additionally, passengers wearing wedding bands and other finger jewelry pass through security all the time with no problem.  Hamlin said this is the first time her breast piercings have set of alarms.

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Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a (more...)
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