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Only Boobs, Idiots and the Common Senseless Need Apply at TSA

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Message Sandy Sand

The thought of all this body piercing make my toes curl, but the thought of security agents wielding their power in their little fiefdoms is blood curdling.

Why are invasive measures needed when an x-ray would prove that there was nothing more than a stud up a vagina or a ring hanging off a breast?

"The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon," Allred said.

The point isn’t whether a nipple is a dangerous weapon, it’s how could something as small as a nipple ring or bar be a dangerous weapon?  We’re not talking about a ring the size of a castle door knocker or a bar that the equivalent of a dumbbell.  

Even if the ring or bar were an explosive, it couldn’t possibly create an explosion large enough to bring down a passenger plane -- even if the wearer of such a device pressed his body up against the skin of the aircraft.

The most it could do would be to destroy one perfectly good boob or penis or ear.  I’m just spec-a-late-in’ here, but even if explosives were concealed in a hefty pair of earrings, what harm could they do other than blow off the head of the wearer?

Hamlin wants an apology from the TSA.  As far as I’m concerned that’s far too generous on her part and not nearly enough.  No, that won’t do at all!

Not only should she be demanding the immediate dismissal of these barbaric TSA agents, but also a hefty compensation package for herself.

This incident also demands a good dose of consumer and civil rights  protection for the flying public.  It’s bad enough that innocent people with names like John Smith cannot have themselves removed for passenger watch lists, but Hamlin-type incidents go above and beyond what we normal people would rightfully call sane.

It’s no wonder that tourism in the United States has fallen.  Many Europeans who would like to come here and spend their Euros are opting for travel elsewhere.  They don’t want to go through our Draconian security checks at airports.  Something the Europeans have given up on as efforts in futility.

Passengers in American airports suffer the utmost in human indignities and limits on what they can carry on planes.  While airports in other countries have given up on banning liquids and taking off shoes, we’re still doing those things and more, while not inspecting tons of cargo that passenger compartments sit over.

The time to end all the craziness is long past, as is the time to call for passengers to be protected from our own governmental agencies.

What we need is a PSA.  A Passenger Security Administration to protect us from the TSA.  Interested in being its president, Gloria?

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Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a (more...)
 
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