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And Now There Are Few

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Message Missy Beattie
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With apologies to the writer of the New York Times editorial, "And Now There Are Eight." (about scientists' re-defining of what a planet is, which means Pluto is no longer considered a planet.)

The United States' experts (the people) came to their senses and approved a new definition of the word "leadership" that would drop George W. Bush and his administration from the club and relegate them instead to a lesser realm of "dwarf leaders." It was a welcome step away from a proposal that would have kept the Bush Administration in office but simultaneously opened the door for dozens of small, icy bodies on the fringes of the system.

The crucial vote came after tumultuous debate at a meeting of the People's Union which had been considering a proposal to define leadership as any behavior that culminates in taking a political oath of office even if that action results in an orbit and, then, invasion and occupation of sovereign countries and is powerful enough for its own gravity to make it collapse into itself.

That definition was politically precise but led to results that offended common sense. Anyone elected would be presumed to have leadership qualifications. Even an inept president would suddenly have been catapulted to statesmanship until more was learned about him.

Fortunately, the people have now added another requirement to the definition. Leadership must not only represent the will of the majority, it must also reflect the neighborhoods of all the people, not just the wealthy. The Bush Administration does not qualify--it operates within a belt of icy debris on the edge of democracy rather than from its center.

Bush with his small intellect and oddball orbit should never have been deemed a leader in the first place. Henceforth, candidates for leadership will require more extensive scrutiny. Our only regret is that the people chose the name "dwarf leaders" instead of abandoning the word 'leader' entirely when discussing these less-than-qualified bodies.
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Missy Beattie lives in New York City. She's written for National Public Radio and Nashville Life Magazine. An outspoken critic of the Bush Administration and the war in Iraq, she's a member of Gold Star Families for Peace. She completed a (more...)
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