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Beware!! March of the Arctic/IslamoFascist Penguins: Just the facts.

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This is a line of penguins. These penguins look innocent enough but they're not. If you're not concerned, you just don't understand the nature of penguins. These penguins are a threat. They're highly disciplined, unified, and they tirelessly work together. And they are marching: Marching with an agenda to destroy America. While you were being diverted by pro-penguin propaganda from the Hollywood elite far left hate America latte drinking San Francisco Liberal Nazi appeasing commie sympathizing queer loving cut and run media, these vicious little creatures were marching. Marching and plotting. Plotting to convince you they're just another bird. Plotting to steal the hearts and minds of your children. Plotting to destroy America from the inside. Consider first; their first assault is to make the gay agenda, America's. How? Well look at them! First, you can't tell the males from the females. That's no coincidence. And if you think it is, forget it because the penguins have also conspired to hide their sex through gender bending egg sharing, and a completely equal division of tasks. You don't know whether those penguins are two males with a penchant for penguin buggery, or two lesbian penguins slapping their arctic clams. Your little girl probably doesn't even know what an arctic clam is. For now. Secondly, they're fascists. Arctic/Islamo-fascists bent on global domination through the establishment of an Arctic/Islamo Crescent and the installation of a penguin Caliphate. How do we know? These penguins are not Christians. They're not Buddhists. They're obviously not kosher. They strictly forbid religious imagery. Just the facts here people: They can't be identified. They're obviously Muslim penguins. Some have denied their connection with Al Qaeda, claiming it's 'absurd". I think not. I ask you: Has even one of them ever spoken out to condemn the attacks of 9/11? No. Third, they are conspiring to kill you: They hate your freedom and hot food. These enemies of the United States intend to convince America, that the world is getting warmer, when in fact, it's actually getting colder. Much colder. It was actually 13 degrees here on Tuesday night. It's never been that cold here in November. Ever. In fact, I don't exaggerate when I say never ever. Turn on the weather channel: Much of America is now entering a permanent ice age from which there will be no escape from the penguins when they arrive. And make no mistake; they will arrive. Nothing stops them. Fourth, You may recoil in horror now that you know the truth, but your children will run to embrace them if they're not stopped now. Then, they will probably explode, instantly killing your family. Arctic/Islamo Penguins happen to be exactly the right size to sneak into all the small spaces you never thought about. Think about those small spaces now. There's a lot of them aren't there. One exploding penguin could level a 3 bedroom house. If this is true, imagine what a hundred thousand of them could do. But in reality, there are millions of them, all marching, all gay, and all obviously willing to die for their cause. They, like the Hollywood elite far left hate America latte drinking San Francisco Liberal Nazi appeasing commie sympathizing queer loving cut and run media are thrilled at the prospect of the United States losing in Iraq. At every loss of a US soldier, they now actually dance, further gaying America's vulnerable youth. This dancing has been well documented now. Fifth, lest you think I am exaggerating the threat they present to civilization, these penguins already have victims who's credibility they have instantly destroyed in their vicious war against truth; Glen Beck....Bill O'Reilly....Michael Medved to name just three. All three were immediately destroyed upon mere mental contact with the gay Islamo/ Arctic fifth column. That's how powerful they are. I can still hear the laughter echoing through the Hollywood elite far left hate America latte drinking San Francisco Liberal Nazi appeasing commie sympathizing queer loving cut and run crowd. Are you happy now? You Godless bastards. Enough is enough. It's time to stop treating Arctic/Islamo Penguinism with kid-gloves. We can't afford another day of this "politically correct" idiocy when they're on the march and now dancing as our troops die. We can't afford to profile little old ladies in airports to make everyone feel better when we know it's absurd. We have to make the hard choices and profile the real threat, and stop whining about the penguins "feelings". It's getting colder outside. Troops are dying and Arctic/Islamo Penguins are dancing. These are unavoidable facts. Preemptively confronting this threat before it's too late is a no-brainer when you know the facts. So go ahead and stick your heads in the snow, make jokes, and mock the people trying to save you and to save America. Sometimes the truth isn't "politically correct". Sometimes it's as plain as black and white.

 

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Jay Esbe is a writer with a background in cultural anthropology and comparative religion and lives in Seattle Washington.

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