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Dear Lord-Please Chasten Us in Thine Hot Displeasure, and Hurry.

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Message Dennis Diehl

Lloyd's warns of a lack of natural disasters

The world's oldest and biggest insurance market said that though the lack of major disasters had allowed firms to push up profits 5% in 2007, underwriting margins were being squeezed...

Though the financial credit squeeze was unlikely to affect the market and the amount of business it was able to write, he said investment income, which makes up a large proportion of profits, could be hit. "Given that insurers derive much of their income from investments, it is a potential problem," Ward said..."

You can't win!  Let us pray.

"Dear Lord,  We implore thee, oh Great God, for more of thine unending wrath that it might go well with Lloyd's of London.  In your boundless wisdom, chasen us in thine hot displeasure, that it might go well with Lloyd's of London.  Impart unto us your wrath. Pour out upon us thine eternal damnation in the way you have spoken of in Revelation...the book of thine encouragement for mankind to love thee or else. Pour out upon us thine vials of plague, wind, fire and flood.  Blow the trumpets of pestilence and famine.  Send thou thine Four Hosemen of the Puckerlips to inflict upon us all that thine heart hath, in love for us, for Lloyd's of London sake.

We thank you oh loving God and Lloyd's of London really thanketh thee....Amen.

Oh and PS...Allstate, State Farm, Geico and really all insurance companies implore thee for more auto accidents  and disasters of the worst kind as well...amen."

Now all we have to do is wait.  It's really not hurricane season, so we'll have to hope for earthquakes and fire for now, but it could happen. 

I don't know for sure who insures the US Military and all the great stuff they have, but perhaps we could offer one more prayer for the wellbeing of those that insure them too.

"Dear Lord, Us again....  We beseech thee to listen well unto thine fundamentalist servants such as Hagee and Lindsey so that the end of all things might quickly come to pass.  We implore thee that your humble servant President George W. Bush, with whom thou hast often spoke on such things, may smite the Persian in his sandals and bring their, I mean thine wrath upon our military in both the Gulf and in Iraq.  Reign down thine wrath, through these your servants that we who insure such things might prosper and keep our premiums high.  For we are sore vexed with slow growth and it troubles our souls.  Inspire your servants Cheney and all that unknown to us to break forth as fools for Jesus and thine obvious will. 

Our hearts thank thee, oh Eternal God, for your favor, your understanding, your particpation in our needs and plans and schemes and wants and lust and coventeousnes and stupidity and insanity and just being , well who we really are.  And we implore thee that thine Sheeple never catch on....

Here our prayer and deliver us from the squeeze your humble servants of man find ourselves in.

In the name of the all loving, suffer the little children to come unto me, for of such is the Kingdom of God..Jesus...ok, well not him, we implore thee...Amen."

Thanks Lord!

Lloyds of London and all who stand to make big bucks from thine anger and sore displeasure...please hurry. A speedy reply would be much appreciated by the stockholders.

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Dennis Diehl is a former pastor of 26 years,  who outgrew the Literalism of Fundamentalism.  He writes about Pastoral and Church abuse and is available to speak on such topics or be helpful to any church suffering under abusive (more...)

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