Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on Reddit Tell A Friend Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites
Sci Tech

Why TechNOlogy and Romance Don't Mix

By   Follow Me on Twitter     Message Patricia A. Smith       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   3 comments

Related Topic(s): ; ; ; , Add Tags
Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H4 12/22/09

Author 42154
Become a Fan
  (1 fan)
- Advertisement -

My bad luck may have something to do with my lack of (choose one or pick them all) coordination, questionable beauty or even more questionable skill set. I'm a regular piñata full of mishaps, missteps and trouble. I want change but I sabotage the possibility of getting it every chance I get. I gleefully write my congressman long letters in pig Latin because I know he's not going to read what I have to say anyway. There. Go ahead and blame me for the lack of healthcare in America. My parents already do. Like it was my choice to be born in a country where I have menu options every time I make a phone call but not somewhere a little more evolved like every other developed nation Norway. As if. Makes you just want keep on reading my story, doesn't it? Imagine how it feels living it.

It's not all bad, I promise. But you have to understand that I've always been a little behind the times. I'm always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to catching on to the latest music, trends, fashion or gadgetry. I have an insanely irrational fear of technology. Until about a week ago, I thought everyone was saying, "WEEEEE" like they were riding a roller coaster. I had no idea they were talking about some interactive contraption (Wii) that isolates you from the rest of the world even more as you discover that you won't even be picked for an imaginary baseball team on your TV screen. I remember dodge ball all too well. Pfft.

- Advertisement -

Now back to technology and my bad luck. I intend to die laughing and hopefully, you do too. (Please don't do it as you are reading this; I couldn't bear the burden of guilt.) Not too long ago (which is a veiled reference to a time or place I can't quite isolate with any more accuracy than I can a parking space or where I left my glasses last), I was dating a man. Don't laugh. I thought things were going rather swimmingly. So swimmingly in fact, that he was never going to see me in a bathing suit until after we had sex. I figured I had a better chance of keeping him around for the holidays if we averted that visual horror. Seeing me in a bathing suit, not having sex. This old girl still knows how to ride a horse if nothing else. I'm a born closer and Jantzen swimwear does not a deal make.

So let's just call the "boyfriend" "Mr. Ed" while we stay with the equine theme. (Calling him "Mr. John Frederick" just doesn't help move the story line along). Mr. Ed was very funny (it's a deal breaker if you're not, to any potential future suitors out there), and seemingly normal (which to me, means a whole myriad of things that I could write about for days). Mr. Ed and I saw each other once, maybe twice per week. As great as things "seemed" to be going and as much fun as we had, Mr. Ed did not invite me to the stable and I was starting to champ at the bit. I didn't pay much attention to our dating pattern or the blocks of time when he was unavailable until one of my (smarter) girlfriends named Robin pointed out the obvious. He was seeing other women.

- Advertisement -

Call me naïve, but I just didn't want to believe it. Mr. Ed was always very attentive, extremely polite and engaging in conversation. He spoke honestly of his two previous marriages, which made me think we were running neck and neck in the horse race of romance. He was a damn good kisser. He seemed genuinely fond of and interested in me. He always had cash! His taste in clothing did not include anything from Garanimals and he didn't wear the menu on his shirt or jacket at the end of the meal. What's not to like?

After a couple of months of getting nowhere near the petting farm, I finally found the courage to ask Mr. Ed if he found me unattractive sexually. He took my hands in his and with a look on his face that almost resembled shame; he looked deep in my eyes and confessed the following:

"It has nothing to do with you I swear, but I do need to tell you something that you may not be happy about and I respect you enough to tell you the truth."

- Advertisement -

"Go ahead, " I replied, feeling something in my stomach deciding it needed to make a hasty exit and remembering suddenly I needed to be somewhere else.

Next Page  1  |  2


- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It

Patricia A. Smith is a writer and artist (and sometimes both at the same time). A former columnist, restaurant critic and cruise line executive, Smith has lived in London, Greece, Denmark, Hungary, Egypt, Costa Rica and France. She returned (more...)

Patricia A. Smith Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; , Add Tags
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Plastic Surgery for Dummies

Top 10 Reasons I Don't Fast on Yom Kippur

What About the Day BEFORE 9/11?

Facebook and Me: The Breakup

Phone Sex for Amateurs

Like it or Not, the Truth about Men