I heard that back in the good ol' Bush days,
A lot of his backers were Christian mainstays,
Conniving to provoke The End worldwide,
For they found in this fate a groovy upside:
That since Christ promised to return for a vis',
He'd have to do it 'fore the planet went fizz.
Now Jesus for sure is a reliable source,
Who does what He says as a matter of course,
But now I'm wondering as I look at Caracas,
And the romping fake news behind the fracas,
If He isn't planning to stay where He is:
Declining to scrap with the fakery biz.
Because miracles aren't what they used to be:
A vid, for examp', of making the blind see,
Which going viral makes the six-o'clock news,
Then flayed by truthers and low-researched views:
A schmaltz crisis actor, the mud Walmart physic,
Which in sum could well be called anti-semitic.
Or to anger slick bankers you overturn tables,
But all you'll get are some punditing labels:
"Unstable," "activist," or "unfit to serve,"
A total smear job, chump, with you behind curve,
So you turn other cheek, say the meek will inherit;
In truth, say analysts, meek stats are disparate.
Talk about the rich and the needle's small eye,
And Fox will say that you're hoping to vie
For the Dem nomination with its field so bloat',
Planning to capture the soccer-mom vote,
And cynically carry the Iowa straw,
Pledging to cut duty to Cesar by law.
No, a Second Coming just ain't what it's cracked:
A non-starter, non-event, and prob' Russian-hacked,
Recorded on iPhones and on Facebook fanned,
Sweet wisdom retweeted and by China banned,
Dashing Holy Righters' great expectations:
Well, that's what you get for ruining nations.