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The UnHoly Marriage of "gay bashing" Evangelical, Bored Again Christian Hypocrites to the Intellectually challeded Tea

By       Message John K Roberts       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   11 comments

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If you have ever wondered, "Why is America fast becoming a sh*& hole?", while you were answering nature's call, yourself.

Well, White folks, I can answer that fer you. Don't strain your pretty butt, no more, no more! 

You see, Amerika, went to "Hell In A Hand Bag", when "W", Americas first retarded president, actively solicited the support of Southern Baptists, Evangelical, Born-Again, Backwoods Old Timey Religion churches to help his father, H. W. ("Read My Lips") Bush, run for a second term as president. 

If you're not drunk, or, still on pain killers, you may recall that "H. W." was getting his small white "balls" handed to him on a "Silver Platter", by the then, "silver tongue Southern Fox", Bill Clinton; that silver haired wonder from Arkansas, who could charm a snake out of her skin with his Country sounding drawl, warm smile, and, that sexy twinkle in his eye that seem to say:  "I feel your pain and would like to feel it closer." 

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Well, Earl Howard, women folks were hot for Bill Clinton.  It didn't hurt that he was tall, good lurching material, too. Bill likes women, all kinds, and, they instinctively like it. It draws them to him and vice a verse.

In truth, no ones knows what Clinton was saying in his speeches or "campaigned" on, but, everyone came away from Clinton's Presidential Rallies and "Free" Bar B Q's, "liken' that son of a b*tch".

Clinton played the sax, too, and, was a former governor from somewhere in the South, (Arkansas, maybe), and, he had been elected six times, not for anything he accomplished, but, because he was a "good looking, charming, good old country boy with a slow drawl."

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On the other hand, H. W. George Bush, "W" father, was so boring he had two extra initials in his name; looked like an over worked accountant and talked "nasty". ("Read My Lips").

What kind of a real he-man say a thing like that? "Read my lips"! How disgusting is that to "ax" a nation of out of work white folks? Why it's almost "gay" talk!

H. W. must of been some kind of political, double speak freak. "Read My Lips"!  How about, "Read My Ass on your way out of the Whitehouse," the nation responded.

Well, Earl, are you awake, or, jest drunk again? Wake up, Earl Howard, this is the important part!

You see, folks, H. W.'s poll numbers where in the toilet, and, he was in there a lot, too, throwing up like a "sissy" because when he went to China to negotiate with the "Japs", and those "chinks" screwed him so badly that America lost all of her factories and Georgie Porgie got sick from a tainted Chinese dish, passed out face first in his Lo Mein. 

Now, Brothers and Sisters of the Corn Hole generation, that was humiliating enough, but, what was worst is that he was "ousted" with his long time mistress, Shesa Homely, who was not very attractive. She is one of those Ann Coulter bone thin razor ax. But, better looking than his wife, Barbara-Wall-Waa! Now, I ax you who names their kid that, anymore, "Barbara"?  Worse, who in this wild-world would "do" that woman even drunk, I "ax" you, man to man?

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Americans are a forgiving people, but, they draw the line at an unattractive mistress.  "What the point of having another sack of potatoes if'n they all look the same", is what the boys used to say sittin' around the old Feed & Calcified Conservative Seed store, while we spit tobacco on the floor, back in the good old days, before the EPA outlawed it.

Anyway, "W", the retarded one in the family, had been on a drunk for 45 years, then, one night saw a velvet painting of Jesus and in a flash sobered up.  

Hysterians say that "W" had an epiphany, then, and there, in which he realized that he, "W", the failed business man; the former cheerleader could earn his pappy, "Snappy's", admiration by helping "pappy" get "snappy" and get his white, pale ass re-elected.

"W" knew, cause he was one, that Evangelical Born-Again, Backwoods folks were just seething at all of the "sinning" going on in the country and them not gettin' any, so, he figured that he could tap into their anger, and, after all, they are sheep, like "W", that follow their billionaire preacher man's every word, as if it were from the "lips of god to their ears", and do the preacher man's biddin' even sending him their rent money. So, hell, they would vote fer whoever the preacher man recommended.  "God wants you to be a Conservative Republican.  It's in the bible, somewhere", they railed.

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I am a part time idiot and a full time moron. As publisher of EAT THE PRESS - Don't Read It, I promote illiteracy as a Constitutional Right guaranteed by the Constitution and the Holy Bible. It's in the bible, somewhere. The content of EAT THE (more...)

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