Think you know everything about Jeb Bush? Not so fast, Poppy.
When Jeb Bush threw his hat into the presidential ring Monday, he used the same pointy, pinwheel hat his brother George used when he announced his candidacy for the presidency in 1999.
As governor of Florida, Jeb Bush reportedly invested $1 million in state pension money to fund pornography films. Bush defended himself by saying he wanted to see people do to each other what his family has been doing to the American people for generations.
Jeb Bush tries to connect with middle-class voters by telling them that after seeing the devastating effects of a hurricane while he was governor of Florida, he could barely finish eating a second slice of crème brulee.
Jeb Bush says he learned everything about the presidency by watching home movies about his father George W.H. and his brother George W., which is like learning everything about football by watching the Cleveland Browns
Jeb Bush's plan for the "war on poverty" is to starve the poor into submission.
Jeb Bush blames scientists for global warming. He also blames doctors for lung cancer and teachers for illiteracy, and the Gulf of Mexico for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill.
Jeb Bush's chief political adviser is a sock puppet named Corky.
Jeb Bush collects ear wax from world leaders.
If George W. is the Bush family's equivalent to Moe in the Three Stooges, Jeb is the family's Shemp.
Jeb Bush told Fox News's Megyn Kelly that given the information he now has, he would have supported the invasion of Iraq. This tells us that George W. Bush isn't the dumbest Bush, and Rick Perry isn't the dumbest person running for president.