We've all heard from Mitch McConnell (R-KY) that senators have been "literally under assault" by bands of angry women, who were "brushing up against us," and trained to "almost attack." During the Senate Judiciary Committee's Kavanaugh* hearings last week, bands of two - sometimes even three - women would block senators from using elevators for as long as maybe a minute; and protesters would interrupt the hearing - before being immediately removed by security and arrested.
But that's not all. We have an uncorroborated report that a senator, who asked that his name be withheld for safety reasons, commented, "It's shocking! Women shouting, 'Shame! Shame!' at our sham show of due diligence." Said another, "My life has been shattered. As I told one of my security team, 'Imagine having to look over your shoulder all the time!'"
Men: They are coming for you, your father, your brother, and your son. What can you do about this?
First, brace yourself: These angry women are seemingly everywhere - picking up groceries on the way home from work and before picking up the kids at day care; cooking dinner, then helping the kids with homework, doing a load of laundry and picking up around the house; doing holiday shopping; and more.
Second, when confronting mob-women, tread lightly. We don't know what triggers their fury, although we are starting to assemble some theories, based on recent incidents on Capitol Hill that have apparently irked the ladies. For example, when Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified about being sexually assaulted by Brett But-I-Went-to-Yale! Kavanaugh*, the GOP did not believe her, she was publicly mocked, her testimony and story were publicly misrepresented, she has been unable to return home due to death threats, and -- with no hint of irony - she was told she is ruining a man's life; Senator Grassley described Dr. Ford as "attractive" and "pleasing"; President Trump and his senators referred to protesters (most of them, women) as "clowns," "rude," "screamers," "mobs," and more; Senator Hatch explained that women are not on the Judiciary Committee because "it's a lot of work -- maybe they don't want to do it"; President Trump told a female reporter, "I know you are not thinking - you never do"; Brett Kavanaugh* tried to bully Senator Amy Klobuchar during his confirmation hearing; Senator Hatch dismissively waved off two women protesters after telling them to "grow up" ... you get the idea.
One theory suggested by these incidents and women's response to them is this: Women don't like the misogynistic behavior of Brett Kavanaugh*, President Trump, his senators, and other, like-minded men. (However, we will never have enough corroborating evidence of this, so feel free to dismiss it out-of-hand.)
For now, the best advice to men is this: Take the stairs. To women and allies: Remind your friends (especially in states with tight House or Senate races) to vote, offer helpful candidate information (e.g. "Did you know that Ted Cruz voted against the Violence Against Women Act?"), and suggest they drive voters-who-need-a-ride to the polls.
In the next issue: What to do when an elevator-screamer brushes up against you.
*All the pundits are saying that from here on out, Brett Kavaugh* will always have an asterisk after his name, which seems like a good practice to adopt.