I wonder at nabobs nattering away,
About issues, troubles and pols gone astray,
About Herr Trump and the opinions of day,
All trying to convince me or my fears allay,
And smack dab in the middle of their essay,
I smash against "it's" like a cow on highway.
The "it's," I mean, as the possessive of "it":
"It's wheel," "it's paper," or "it's meaning to wit,"
All wrong! Fie on the lot! For this slur on "it"
Slurs on all possessives, their honor and grit.
"Our's," "your's," and "their's," why, they never get writ',
But "it's" is as common as a Google stock split.
"It's," dear writer, is but the contraction "it is,"
Nothing more, nothing less, no gluten or fizz,
Good for a tweet-mave or political whizz
Non-binary purists who don't like "they is,"
And favor their pronouns to "our," "her," and "his,"
Which like it or not, people, is what it is.
The lesson here reads, before troubling us all
With opinions about issues both great and small,
Except vox populi on pub bathroom wall,
You must learn good writing and stay on the ball,
'Cause you won't convince me with any old scrawl,
Especially with "it's," which makes my skin crawl.
(Article changed on Nov 18, 2021 at 3:37 AM EST)