Using the revolutionary ‘Being John Macovich’ process, we’re able to enter the head of John McCain and hear his thoughts as he speaks. WARNING! Exposure to this level of double-talk and ‘News-speak’ can be hazardous to your mental health.
SEN. JOHN McCAIN’s annotated acceptance speech (an excerpt):
I fight to restore the pride and principles of our party.
(Now that Bush/Cheney and the rest of them have flushed it away. )
We were elected to change Washington, and we let Washington change us.
(Well, not ‘us’ us, really it was more ‘them’, y’know – ‘They who shall remain nameless’.)
(Ah, c’mon now. You got to feel a little sorry for us. We were being lead astray by ‘you-know-who’ too!)
…we lost the trust of the American people when some Republicans gave in to the temptations of corruption.
(Y’know, ‘some’ – not ME or Palin or anybody else that I would go so far as to name personally, but y’know who I mean… ‘some’.)
We lost their trust when, rather than reform government, both parties made it bigger.
(So, it wasn’t ALL a strictly Republican fluster-cluck. Those wimpy Dems were in on it, too!)
We lost their trust when, instead of freeing ourselves from a dangerous dependence on foreign oil…
(Wait a minute… Did I skip a line or something? That didn’t sound like it did at rehearsal. Yeah, there was supposed to be that really clever tag line ‘We dependents freely oiled ourselves with foreign danger.’ Or somethin’… )