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Freedom Isn't Free!

By       (Page 1 of 4 pages)   1 comment
Message Frank Silva
Ed. note - This is snark (satire). It is only snark. It does not pass go. It does not collect $200. Read it, but don't be offended by it - it's just snark. - NJK

I think it's time to join the 14th Amendment debate before it gets really out of hand.

For once I firmly agree with Conservative, Right-Wing Republicans and Tea Party members, despite their spelling challenges and their obvious lack of poster-making skills. (I would think that alone would make a great case to continue funding Art in school. Tea Party demonstrators clearly paid too much attention during milk-and-cookie time and recess and not nearly enough during Art and Spelling. But I digress.)

In light of illegal immigrants, Muslim terrorist infiltrators and other unwanted rabble infecting our great nation, I believe it is time for a change. The very security of our country is at stake. Therefore, I believe that birth alone, in itself, on American soil, should not automatically qualify one for Citizenship. There are too many terrorist babies and Mex'cans dropping future Welfare recipients, and just being a Citizen of the United States is very special and should rightfully be a distinct honor.

From an historical perspective, the system needed to be simple and fair, which is how we ended up with "Citizen by birth" but this is America, and things aren't simple or fair. They should be both if you read the Declaration of Independence, anything Jesus said, or the fundamental documents of our nation, the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights. However, whether it was actually stated or not, the presidential assault on the Constitution and our fundamental Rights proves without a doubt that these documents are nothing but "pieces of paper" or more accurately, parchment, but our system has no need for historical accuracy and these documents no longer hold any relevance in our new world.

If not by birth, then logic dictates that Citizenship be based on something more tangible.

If my name was Kerry or Pelosi or Cheney or Bush or Koch or Walton, I would recommend Citizenship be based on income, status and/or family name. Or, more accurately, I would create "grassroots" organizations made up of idiots to petition that this be done.

Remember: Freedom isn't Free!

Under this new system, all persons with verifiable assets in the billions would automatically be American Citizens. Some millionaires should qualify, but honestly, there are just too many millionaires people with just ONE million dollars; there should be a family name qualification along with any assets in the millions under, let's say, $25 million. (Yes, that automatically disqualifies the vast majority of hard-working people who have earned at least a million dollars but still have less than $25 million in assets. Oh, well, you have to make a cut-off somewhere and $25 million is not too much to ask for something as prestigious as American Citizenship.)

All persons in the Corporate ownership families and families from old money, really old money, the ones that made their fortunes from the hard work of captured savage heathen non-Christians, just the way Jesus planned it, would rightly and justly be Citizens. These factors in themselves are unimportant since most of these families are in the Billionaires Club. There is no better way to wealth than the traditional, true conservative way of old money based on the advantages of slave labor and undue influence & manipulation of markets and governments for generation after generation. Along with semi-selective inbreeding and old money crossbreeding, of course.

Next, all those with titles like President, Member of Congress, Supreme Court Justice, CEO, and various other business, industry, finance and Wall Street titles would all easily qualify to be American Citizens. In the event that any of these people come up short on the cash requirement, only titles at the Federal level would be considered for Citizenship as authorized by act of Congress. Nothing down to state or local levels will qualify without first meeting the required financial stipulation. And to ensure that no undesirables slip in, there should be a strict system of vetting for all those seeking a waiver by title. We wouldn't want just anyone to be a U.S. Citizen, would we?

The combined families of all members of groups such as the Bilderbergs, Skull and Bones, Council on Foreign Relations, Trilateral Commission, Bohemian Grove, as well as officials of the IMF, the WTO and the World Bank, and other such high-powered organizations, would all, of course, earn automatic American Citizenship. This is largely moot since all are qualified members of the Billionaires Club and are majority owners or Board members of virtually every large, too-big-to-fail corporation. With proper vetting, additional family members by marriage, outside the proper and customary channels of old money crossbreeding, would also qualify.

Corporate-Persons, of course, backed by the full faith of Supreme Court rulings, would all without question be declared lawful American Citizens upon declaration of incorporation. And unlike the 14th Amendment and birth, this would not need to occur on American soil, incorporating in Bermuda would be acceptable. To be clear, that means that Goldman Sachs would be a U.S. Citizen, but a kid born to working-class parents at the hospital near ground zero that treated the dying 9/11 volunteers that members of Congress refuse to assist by helping with their medical costs since they volunteered at ground zero while people like Giuliani walked around all day in front of a camera on 9/11 pretending to speak into a non-working walkie-talkie that he didn't spend the money to upgrade, resulting in members of the FDNY not actually being able to talk to each other that day that kid would not automatically be a U.S. Citizen.

Going along with our new openly upper-crust corporate societal structure, some new and relevant laws would be needed and be totally appropriate. These laws could even be passed in conjunction with repealing and restructuring the 14th Amendment.

Among them, new laws would reflect that ALL RIGHTFUL CITIZENS should not be subjected to the TYRANNY of taxes of any type, whether corporate tax or income tax or property tax or capital gains tax or estate tax or even sales tax for sales tax, Citizens can be issued a special identity card advising Apu at 7-11 that he must deduct all sales tax and gas tax from the purchase of a card-carrying lawful Citizen, and that the card presenter is further authorized a jumbo squishy. (Payroll taxes would be moot, of course, since Citizens will not have a need to draw paychecks for any reason; they already have almost all of everything in existence. It would be like serving Glenn Beck breakfast with an extra helping of crazy; it's just not necessary.)

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Frank Silva speaks truth to power. A recovering Catholic, he is a member of his own Church, The Seventh-Day Pagans of the Church of the Latter Day Heathens. He is a former high school teacher with a Master's Degree from a University that cost (more...)

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