It's the American Way!
The push to privatize all government services actually started with Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney under President George H.W. Bush. Cheney initiated a study to see what military occupations could be taken away from the military and outsourced to private companies.
Well, why have big government do something when that same service can be provided by a private company for private profits from taxpayer money? Right-wingers hate big government, but they love big private companies that get big tax money from the big government they hate.
In any event, it was Bill Clinton -- the big liberal that he is -- that made privatization of our military happen. (Bill and Hillary Clinton, Subsidiaries of Halliburton/Goldman Sachs.)
Under Clinton, while right-wingers were publicly bitching about Clinton "cutting" our military, the very same right-wingers were lined up to collect big fat guv'ment contracts. Many military occupations were discontinued.
Many of these military occupations were outsourced to contractors, such as Halliburton. (Where former Secretary of Defense Cheney was now the CEO -- hmm, coincidence? Yes. Or just a nutty left-wing conspiracy theory.)
Now, the discontinued military jobs were done by private contractors instead of Private E-3's. The workers themselves received low pay, but the companies got high-dollar contracts and totally awesome profit margins. These services and jobs were now costing three, or five, or even ten times the cost to taxpayers. But they were out from under the thumb of big government! God bless America! (America, Subsidiary of Halliburton/Goldman Sachs.)
Using our already widely tested and approved privatization logic that is so highly praised by right-wing politicians, addle-minded pundits and everyone at Fox "News" including their comedy show Fox's Morons in the Morning (I presume it's comedy; those people cannot be serious!), and since this is clearly the direction America is taking, let's apply it to something much more clearly defined and consider this:
The Fire Department should be privatized. We don't need meddling government interference in anything! (Source: America Fire! Trust us - because America is right there in our name! America Fire! - Subsidiary of Halliburton/Goldman Sachs.)
Homeowners and apartment renters should have private contracts with local branches of a large corporate private fire department. (Legislation would ensure compliance or fines and jail time.) (And, of course, competition would be the key, as it is a cornerstone of a capitalist free market. One could choose between America Fire! or National Fire!) (America Fire! and National Fire!, Subsidiaries of Halliburton/Goldman Sachs.)
In the event of a fire at a location, the department will first access the data base of paying customers with current premiums paid in good standing and then decide whether to respond and put out the fire.
Of course, as a matter of practice, the trucks will respond to fires in the vicinity of paying customers as part of the premium for those customers should the fire be within proximity of danger to the properties of paying customers. (Just as a caution to policy-holders, but, of course, for higher premiums - because one can never be too safe.)
Also as a matter of policy, however (and good business), the fire crews will be expressly forbidden to interfere in any way with the fire at a non-contract property.
They would also be ordered to ignore all screams for help emanating from non-paying properties on fire and be forbidden, by policy, to do anything but stare at any children or elderly people standing at smoke-filled windows expecting rescue. (Jump, deadbeats. In the next lifetime you'll know to pay.)
Likewise any family pets standing at windows wagging tails would be ignored too. The days of fire-fighters rescuing cats from trees would be long gone under our privatized culture. The local and state departments that deal with animals and wildlife would surely be privatized by this time also. Just call America Wildlife, Inc. (America Wildlife, Inc., Subsidiary of Halliburton/Goldman Sachs).