Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 4 Share on Twitter 1 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEdNews:
OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 2/22/17

Advance Copy of Trump's Resignation Speech

By       (Page 1 of 2 pages)
(# of views)   8 comments
Author 1126
Follow Me on Twitter     Message Emily Levy

Waiting for the Actor to Come Onto the Set
Waiting for the Actor to Come Onto the Set
(Image by Emily Levy)
  Details   DMCA

Donald Trump will not be unseated from the position he now occupies unless he can keep what he perceives to be his dignity intact. I've found a way for him to save face. So I took the liberty of ghostwriting his resignation speech for him. Here it is:

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States.

Audience: (Applause).

Trump: Thank you...thank you...thank you...

Audience: (Applause stops)

Trump: Thank you...thank you...thank you very much.

Protester: (Inaudible).

Trump: Is there a little protester? Well get him the hell out? I'd like to knock him the hell out!

Audience: (Cheering and applauding).

Trump: (Continues speaking).

I called you all here tonight to hear a big announcement. It's going to be fantastic, really the most fantastic announcement you've ever -- it's going to grab you by the -- now, when I say grab, I mean snatch, and if you've ever, you'll know -- so it's going to be big.

Now, you know that I've already announced my re-election campaign, which is early, I know it's early, most presidents don't announce until, they do it, but they don't tell you until much -- and that's very, very dishonest. Terrible. So I've had my announcement, so people -- Republicans, they love me -- can donate without having to wait until a later -- you know, it's terrific.

And I wanted to take this straight to the people, my people, even though my enemies, they'll probably hear it, too, and the media -- you're an enemy, and you're trying to make more people into my enemies, but they're not going to fall for it -- before somebody leaks it, because there are so, so many leaks, so many leakers, it's criminal, really it is. So I came here myself to give it to you before it turns into fake news, such a shame. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Now some presidents, most of them really, all the presidents who served one term or two, or who served even more terms, which is criminal, really criminal, and President Obama would have done that if -- well, nobody would have stood for that, but Hillary, she was just as bad, and that's why they say "lock her up", but I wouldn't ever say that. Never said that. Never. These presidents, they had to serve one term, two terms, just to get anything done. None of them did as much as we've been able to do in just a few short weeks, tremendous, what we've done, can you believe it? No one can believe it, they really can't, because we've had the executive orders, brilliant, if I do say so myself.

And the confirmations, those have been slow, so slow, because Congress, the Democrats, they can't do anything, can't do anything right, these are great men, except the women, they're great, too, don't get me wrong, and they just can't confirm them as fast as -- my cabinet appointments have been the very best in history, but they can't get them in here fast enough. Even without that, and with everyone against me -- you know how they are, whatever I do, on the news, CNN, whatever, they say the opposite, unless it's bad, well, you know, if I did something bad, which I never would. Nobody is as un-anti-Semitic toward the Jews and nobody is less racist than me. Truly.

Next Page  1  |  2

 

Funny 3   Well Said 2   Valuable 2  
Rate It | View Ratings

Emily Levy Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Emily Levy is a long-time social change activist much of whose work now focuses on election integrity in the U.S. Emily leads workshops and coaches individuals and small groups on "Transforming Good Intentions into Powerful Social Action." Emily (more...)
 
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Follow Me on Twitter     Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Advance Copy of Trump's Resignation Speech

I Just Prevented Thousands of Californians from Having to Vote on Provisional Ballots!

Volunteers Urgently Needed to Help With Wisconsin Recount Analysis

Another Way: In Tribute to Jdimytai Damour, Trampled Walmart Worker

Velvet Revolution Calls on CA Secretary of State to Investigate Prop 8 Vote!

New Analysis Shows Proposition 8 Election Results May Have Been Corrupted

To View Comments or Join the Conversation: