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Debate and Switch

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Eric Malone
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Brokaw: So if you could be any kind of tree in the universe what would it be?

Obama: My wife Michelle knows more about trees than I do, but that’s because I started out on food stamps, living off the government dole. I know what it’s like to subsist on government cheese and not be able to buy Yoo Hoos with WIC coupons. People lost their health care and went bankrupt, partly because of the Bankruptcy Bill that McCain voted for and I opposed. (Although I did ask to remove bankruptcy reform in the Bailout package.) Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. What’s the Matter With Kansas? They keep voting against their own self-interest. Vote for me and I’ll vote for my own self-interest. Oh, and yours. Thank you.

McCain: Well I don’t know but I’ve been told that a big-legged woman ain’t got no soul. Didn't take too long 'fore I found out, what people mean by down and out. I don’t know what I don’t know, but I do know that if you elect me we will be invading countries sometime in the future that we hardly know where they are on the map, some Americans. I know what it’s like to fight, and I can’t wait to get back at it. You need a steady hand in the till. And that hand is me. And my shadow.

(MUTED APPLAUSE)

McCain quickly walks off the stage. Obama gives terrorist fist bump to every member of the audience.

Tom Brokaw puts on his iPod and leaves for next showing of “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.”

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Eric Malone has been writing about politics with a sardonic sense of humor through more than one apocalyptic Administration. He is a subversive dedicated to revolution through thoughtful laughter.
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