15) Mistaking the Latin for Spanish, Rick Perry reflexively draws his sidearm and shoots Pawlenty dead while screaming - no illegal immigration on my watch!
16) Sean Hannity announces a special one hour interview with Rick Perry to highlight the importance and Americanism of shooting Tim Pawlenty.
17) Despite being the only candidate that made any sense, Ron Paul is blackballed from all news stations. Despite winning all of the polls, he continues to be treated like the 13th floor of a hotel (my homage to Jon Stewart).
18) Jon Huntsman and Rick Santorum announce they are merging their candidacies to form the Super Coalition of the Marginally Interesting. The result is that Mike Huckabee, who is not running, lurches ahead of the newly formed Rick-John Huntstorum in the polls.
19) When asked if they would consider raising taxes $1 for every $100 of spending cuts, all the candidates say no. You don't raise taxes on the job creators!
20) Towards the end of the debate, no one notices that Sarah Palin has taken the place of Rick-John Huntstorum. Fox News reports that the new hybrid candidate has been found dead in the parking lot with bus tire tracks across their chest. In an unrelated matter, Fox declares Sarah Palin the winner of the debate. Don't mess with a Momma Moose. Or is it a Hockey Puck Grizzly?
Should be good! Enjoy!
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