7) Everyone will point out that Michelle Bachmann has never been on the winning side of any legislative issue. She will respond, "I am very proud of my record." I know I should be because my husband says so and I am submissive to him."
8) 45 minutes into the debate, the moderators will realize that Rick Santorum's microphone was never turned on. He will demand more attention like a petulant child to which his first question will be, "Describe for us what a Rick Perry Presidency would mean to you."
9) Whenever Ron Paul speaks everyone will finally hear someone who makes some sense only to see cut away shots to the other candidates and the moderators shaking their heads and muttering, "There goes crazy Uncle Ron again..."
10) Every candidate will explain why Ronald Reagan would have voted for them.
11) In breaking election news, Mitt Romney will admit that he did say that, but then explain why it is being interpreted wrong.
12) Halfway through the debate everyone gets hungry and sends Herman Cain out for pizza.
13) Upon his return Cain admits that he originally thought Palestine was in Mexico. In response, he fires his Cartographer claiming, "That's how you run a business!" No one tips him for the pizza.
14) Jumping from the upper level of the library and shouting "sic semper tyrannis", Tim Pawlenty attacks Michelle Bachmann.
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