How can I trust?

And OEN contributor Bob Becker added this:

Reply to Richmond Shreve:

Your comments aptly provide "the other side" to fulminations. Yes, however tempting, the problem with demonizing opponents (motive and action) is that it makes millions of our own fellow-citizens (supporters of officials) the nominal enemy, unworthy of any regard and thus not worth talking to. That assures no communication, no exchanges of value, no education or sharing, thus more of what we already have: paralysis and no change.

That means all the would-be, progressive change agents have is a default to power, whether physical or electoral. That means crushing opponents rather than bringing them into some collective, mutually-beneficial mix, treating them as potential stakeholders, not miscreants who deserve only moral indignation. Either we widen the common interests or we stay polarized, and that's working out just fine, no?

The point of presenting this thread of comment is to use it as an example of communication as it relates to trust. Donn Martin, I am quite sure, does not expect to sway those he is deriding to his view. And if his goal is to scold or embarrass them, it's quite unlikely that any of them will ever see his essay, or if they do, that they would actually read all of it. A casual swipe of the finger or mouse click will dispatch it.

Even if Donn were in a position to strap one of the objects of his scorn in a chair and read his message aloud, it would take saintly patience and selfless empathy for that person to really hear him. The verbal assault can only spark self-defense and great aversion and distrust.

As Becker observes, meaningful communication that might bring reconciliation and change is impossible in the face of virulent distrust.

Building trust demands intentional behaviors that reduce fear and foster closer relationship. It's a strong bond of relatedness that allows one to forgive breaches of trust, make amends, and renew the understandings that trust is founded upon.

(Article changed on June 8, 2014 at 20:48)

(Article changed on June 8, 2014 at 20:54)

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